6.13.2010

China and their scary ass chemicals andecdote

i was in a chinese hotel. it was summer. it was hot.

sleeping became a chore... mostly because of the mosquitoes. they'd buzz in my ear all night long and if i was lucky enough to finally fall asleep i'd wake up to the horror of having been a blood buffet the night before... so i complained to the staff.

and they gave me a small 'mosquito killer'.

it looked like a hockey puck with a wick on the end of it. some sort of insect repellent incense. you lit it at night and the mosquitoes would leave you alone.

it worked. no mosquitoes the first night. but i did have an awful nightmare... i was murdered and chopped up into pieces before i woke up.

it worked the second night too, but again, i had the most TERRIFYING nightmares. an axe to the face, being chased by werewolves, watching my best friend die.

and it worked again.... no mosquitoes... but the WORST dreams EVER.

after three nights i thought there might be some correlation. so i didn't light the mosquito killer on the fourth night. i was eaten alive by mosquitoes... but no nightmares.

and yep, you guessed it: on night five i lit the mutherfucker and... no mosquitoes... but i was forced to watch my entire family be raped by an army of rush limbaughs before they had their skin peeled off by a machete.

i'm not kidding. there was some fucked up chemical in that shit that made me go crazy.

the moral of the story: bring your own OFF!

(image courtesy of engrish funny)

2 comments:

  1. definitely impressed. that's a cool site. thx for the heads up.

    ReplyDelete