2.24.2012

Embarrassment of morons

the complete moronic state of our society has left me with a hoarse voice. hoarse in real life and hoarse via the interwebs.

i feel like throwing my hands up in the air and saying I FUCKING QUIT, YOU FUCKING MINDLESS, INVISIBLE SKY DADDY LOVING TWERPS.

it seems like every single day there is a new wave, a new attack on logic and reason being waged. sometimes the battlefield is a school. sometimes it's a woman's womb. honestly, the "war zone" can be any-fucking-where these days.

today it just happens to be utah.

it's shit like this that really gets me pissy.

y'know, in real life, i'm a very nice guy. i'm polite. i'm conscious of my surroundings, of how my actions may affect others. i'm not perfect, but i'm very AWARE of how my existence needs to be in tune with my environment. i don't try to force my ideas or beliefs on anyone. i keep to myself. sure i use this space as a sounding board for what is on my mind at any given time, but i don't go knockin' down peoples' doors, tellin' them how they should live.

unfortunately, i'm in the minority. the majority, on the other hand, finds it NECESSARY to police my sexy time parts, to crawl up inside womanhood's vaj and make decisions for her without her input. the majority tells our youth they should believe in invisible friends who practice bad science and that if they're good and do what they're told, they'll be able to live forever and maybe even get 72 virgins to fuck for eternity.

it leaves me tired. it leaves me sad.

i think i already know the answer to this question, but i still have to ask it: will the blanket idiocy EVER go away?

2.17.2012

Internet fail

how in the fuck does this not have at least one million views???!!??!?!?

This is not what our forefathers envisioned

just after i hit "publish" on the last post detailing my escalating rage at the complete and seemingly irreversible STUPIDITY of society, i was forwarded this gem of a story that details how taxpayer money is wasted on convoluted and irresponsible witch hunts that focus on our kids for fuck's sake.

these are the crimes that these so-called "keepers of society" are busying themselves with?

if i could scream any louder i would.

Tell it

lately i've been finding myself increasingly angry at the complete stupidity of our society. in fact, i spend so much time being frustrated with the ignorant status quo, that i am fucking tired, man. i am so TIRED of trying to wake people up to the realities of modern day living that i just feel like crawling into a hole and disappearing for a while because shit seems to just get worse. crazytrains like santorum and delusional nitwits like the fat cats in congress continue to embarrass our species and it seems like they're only gaining momentum.

it's fucking scary.

D&E tells it straight.

A safe alternative to a k-hole

i think i'm sufficiently stuck.

2.13.2012

Good news

despite the ever uphill battle against the delusional crazytrains hellbent on dictating how YOU should live, it's nice to know that occasionally people get it right.

congrats, washington. you did what everyone should do: let people marry who they wanna marry. period.

the only issue here is that it's just the 7th state of 50 to take action and that the majority of this bible-whipped country still has its head up its ass when it comes to basics like: LOGIC and REASON and MY BEDROOM IS NOT YOUR CONCERN, MUTHERFUCKER.

2.10.2012

A picture of a painter...

...painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter...

2.08.2012

When a kiss was a kiss...

the more the technology loop tries to suck me in, the more i find myself longing for nostalgia -- for things that remind me of a better, simpler time. of course, it's all an illusion anyway and shit is just relative, but it does make me wonder: WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG, JADAKISS?!?!

that sentiment pretty much goes for all the ruff ryders, DMX especially. in college, my buddies and i would pimp out to all-things-DMX and i was convinced the world would never find a finer hip hop artist.

and then they all fell off the face of the earth and left me with worthless shit like chingy.

here's to those better, simpler times...

2.07.2012

Reading sky daddy's invisible mind

one of the myriad ways xtrian delusionoids (and those of other religions as well) make me shake my head is their unwavering faith that they KNOW what "god" wants -- that they know what kind of god he is, how he'd react in certain situations, etc.

i find it particularly odd (and terrifying) that these freakshows say they KNOW this god so well, despite the fact that they still can't prove he exists and that their worldviews are based on poor bronze age storytelling.

if you KNOW god is such a supporter of women, why does his book repeatedly treat them like shit? like property? why does he make it okay for them to be ruled by their husbands and sons?

i simply don't understand how such a delusional lot can be so sure of its unfounded fantasyland other than to simply say: THEY'RE FUCKING CRAZY.

2.06.2012

I can haz a baby tupac?

i think somebody's on to something here. what i wouldn't give for my very own baby tupac!!!

i'm serious, this could go WAY beyond baby alive and cabbage patch kids.

besides, society is ready for an expletive-spittin', henney drankin', gangsta baby.

(image via ihmp)

2.05.2012

Better than going to an actual movie


"she smoked... um... something... it's not marijuana but it's... similar to... similar to incense"

2.03.2012

Zelig skykiller's deep thoughts...

i love the fact that when you type "watch this when you're high" on the old youtube machine, up come a bunch of videos that you'd want to watch if you were high.

This makes me happy about life

Killing each other over imaginary friends

israel is now warning jews in the united states that iran is targeting them in a series of possible attacks.

same fucking ignorant story.

my imaginary friend is bigger and better than your imaginary friend.

for those religious moderates who still say we should just allow everyone to believe whatever it is they want, and let them do whatever it is they want to do when it comes to praising invisible sky daddies because it's IMPOLITE to pass judgement on such delusional idiocy, i ask you, AGAIN, are you ready to die because of these rampant running looney tunes!?!?!?

instead of allowing this sort of bloodshed to flourish, we should be focusing on educating the masses and informing them exactly why their delusions are not only asinine, but more important: DEADLY.

we wouldn't let some crazy math teacher run around telling our kids that 2+2=5 just because some nonsensical old book his daddy's daddy's daddy wrote during the bronze age said so.

WAKE.

UP.

Stop pandering to morons, moron

oh boy. now president obama is invoking the "name of jesus" and using the "this is what jesus would do" argument for his policies. i understand that, given the delusional nature of this country, that he has to feign some sort of religious allegiance, but the man is smart, right? so he knows what he's saying is bullshit, right?

pandering to the lowest level of intelligence by the political elite all for votes to keep their job makes my stomach turn.

2.01.2012

Halle-fucking-lujah, kid

1.30.2012

I'm sorry. so, so sorry.

i didn't want to do it. in fact, i fought it. long and hard.

it was a present. i swear. from my dad.

and there it sat, for over a month, because i refused to acknowledge that the time had come.

after nearly a month, and several inquiries from my father as to what i thought, i decided it was finally time.

so i fired it up.
and just as i suspected, i fell in love. instantly.

i'm so sorry, lovely physical books taking up an entire room of my otherwise spacious apartment. i'm so, so sorry...

1.25.2012

Srsly

can't i go into a walgreens without being reminded that i don't fit the status quo, that i haven't had a meaningful relationship that lasted more than 3 months in over a decade?

can't i just buy my ice packs and shoe inserts and dentyne arctic chill without all the "HEY LOSER, LOOK AT WHAT ALL THE COOL KIDZ IZ BUYIN!!!"?

srsly, why don't they sell dentyne artic chill by the pack? i always seem to have to buy them in bulk. that's bogus.

(image via skull swap)

1.24.2012

Still tasting the rainbow

knee high rainbow socks make me as horny as a twenty-horned toad! i don't know why. maybe it harkens back to my ecstasy-laden candy-ravin' youth. not sure. but sometimes i will do a google search like this and then just salivate over the results.

i'm sure there's a fetish club for this rainbow sock lovin' addiction i got.

right?

1.23.2012

More tea party jeebus

hm. not quite, tea party jeebus. not quite.

(via tpj)

1.22.2012

The idiotverse


the worst part about being intelligent is that you are surrounded by idiots.

they're everywhere. literally EV. ERY. WHERE.

the other day we had a snow storm in chicago. it wasn't a ton of snow, just 5 inches, but it all came at once and caused some pretty gnarly carnage on the main streets. my commute home from work generally takes 10 minutes. on that day, it took AN HOUR and 10 minutes.

this was mostly because idiots occupied the streets. intersections blocked by idiots. angry drivers being cut off by idiots. wrecks being caused by idiots roaming the streets with no regard for THE FUCKING BAZILLION CARS TRYING TO NAVIGATE THE SNOWED IN STREETS.

sometimes all the idiocy around me leaves me with little hope. i feel like i have to retreat into the sanctuary of my own home/mind to avoid the fallout from the mass idiocy that has taken our world hostage.

whether it's eschewing the rules of the road during a white out, or touting the healing powers of an invisible sky daddy, my patience for idiocy is about as taxed and tattered as it could ever be.

1.20.2012

30 versus 30,000

the older i get the more i seem to appreciate nature. i like exploring and sitting my ass down when i find something cool. a lot of times i wear my headphones and enjoy the ability to create unique soundtracks based on what i see.

but this...

BADASS!!!

1.19.2012

Gotta find this place

which reminds me...

1.18.2012

Let them have (stormtrooper) cake

click *HERE* to see this fabulous creation.

ps, i wanna marry that girl.

1.17.2012

Recovery

sunday was one of the best days of my life. i finished the houston marathon in 3 hours, 15 minutes, 19 seconds -- a whole FIVE AND A HALF minutes faster than my previous best.

i'm recovering now, planning to post a full race report on the run factory within the next few days.

here is the song that was stuck in my head for at least 22 of those 26 miles (during the last 4 my brain wasn't working well enough to understand music):

1.12.2012

Pardon the interruption

i'm going to do something i haven't done in almost two years: take a few days off from sharing my thoughts.

why?

because i'm super focused right now on running a personal best at the houston marathon this weekend. i'm going to be traveling, the technology loop (as mentioned previous) tends to drag my focus in times like these, and i want to really kick some fucking ass down there.

i'll be back.

while i'm gone, do yourself a favor by going outside and exploring.

HOLLA!!!

1.11.2012

Beware the technology loop

i rely WAY too much on technology. i get sucked in by it VERY easily and i have a hard time putting the smart phones, the ipods, the laptops, the garmins, etc down or away for any extended period of time.

i need to change that.

when i run, i run sans phone/ipod and sometimes i run without my garmin, but that time only accounts for a small percentage of my day.

i'm going to try and get away from all the gadgets a little more in 2012. at least, i hope i can.

btw, portlandia is a fucking ridiculously hilarious and exciting new show on IFC.

1.10.2012

Only thing missin' is chuck norris and a badass fight sequence

Save me from my species. please.

as if the delusional religion pandering masses weren't enough crazy, now i gotta sit through an entire year of broke-ass apocalyptic mayan calendar shit?!? seriously?!?!?!

fifth century BCE bullshit fairy tales are now regarded as fact?!?!? they warrant hour long television shows on the fucking history channel?!?!?

STOP IT, PEOPLE. STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID.

it's embarrassing.

1.09.2012

And now we know

i have always wondered what goes on behind those little black flaps. well, now we know:

"A Universe from Nothing" by Lawrence M. Krauss

i'm reading sam harris' The Moral Landscape right now (a fascinating albeit difficult to grasp at times read) and in checking in at mr. harris' website i found this recent interview with scholar lawrence m. krauss about his new book A Universe from Nothing.

I

GOTZTA

READ IT!!!

santa may not visit for another year, but zelig claus has a pocketful of hamiltons that'll do the trick.

1.08.2012

Dubsteppin like a boss

stole this from our man in los angeles, but judging from the 25 million + views on the old youtube, i'm sure he won't mind.

WHERE DOES HE GET SUCH WONDERFUL TOYS!?!?!?!?

he was born with 'em.

apparently, i was too, i just don't know how to make 'em work like that.

BUT... i am willing... to... learn?

1.07.2012

In awe of ueli

to say i have a soft spot for ordinary people doing extraordinary things is quite the understatement. so it's no surprise that ueli steck, multi-record-holding speed alpinist, gets me excited about living.

here. see for yourself.

1.06.2012

Now let seth mcfarlane say it...

Star wars yoga


for so long, yoga seemed just... so... intangible to me.

but NOW...

now, i get it. totally get it.

1.05.2012

What is beauty?

the definition of "beauty" is, obviously, one of personal taste. it's a relative idea. my understanding of it is unique. on a bigger scale, societies create their own versions of what constitutes as "beauty".

some think long-ass necks are sexy.

others find robust hips to be a must.

i'm not sure what my own idea of it is exactly, as my tastes vary from day to day, moment to moment really; but i do know that i can appreciate different discourses on the subject of beauty.

do yourself a favor and travel back to the 50s/60s to discover what "beauty" looked like to the masses. i reckon today's kids would look at this and find it completely boring, yet back then, these were considered suggestive/sexy.

1.04.2012

Is it me or is it hollyweird?

when it comes to the movies that come out nowadays, i feel like an old curmudgeon forced to ponder whether my pissy attitude is based on nostalgia or whether or not they just don't make movies like they used to.

when i think of my favorite flicks, none of them have been made past 1994.

i try. i mean, i really do try to get excited about movies still but i've just been left disappointed so many times that i feel like the white flag is necessary.

nowadays i go to the movie theatre once or twice a year. that's it. and i make sure i'm going to see a movie that i'm already lined up to enjoy. i saw war horse recently. it was... okay. not great. but not "oh-here's-another-shitty-remake" bad.

i like to think that shitstorms come in cycles too. so maybe there's hope that the movie industry will escape from the one its been in the last decade.

1.03.2012

This Will Destroy You's "Quiet"


music is powerful.

i doubt anyone would deny that.

what is up for debate is what kind of music causes that power to stir within you.

for me, this will destroy you's "quiet" is really hitting it on all levels right now. when i listen to it i am reminded of how far i have come in my journey to be the best me i can be. i see my mistakes. i see my triumphs. i see me soldiering on, whatever it takes.

that's something i need today. maybe you'll find it too.

USB jeebus

for your infected computer... when it needs to slow its roll and reflect on all that is good... let jeebus go to the cross for it and hope no evangelical viruses find their way into your machine.

ew. sounds dirty.

1.02.2012

All hail bobby mcbadass

bobby mcferrin is one of those artists who could hold my attention forever. i've scoured the youtubes and internetz for all the bobby vids i can find and i'm still not satisfied. the man is just so talented and he has never been afraid of doing something new.

that's something i can take to the proverbial bank.

here are a couple of my favs...


Would you make out with your mannequin doppelganger?

hmm. if megan fox can do it, surely i can do it.

but i'd rather just make out with megan fox.

her mannequin doppelganger will work just fine, thank you.

1.01.2012

Prayer/misdirection

ahh yes, that age old propensity to give credit to the miracles of an invisible sky daddy who can hear all thoughts (and convict you of THOUGHT CRIME!!!) rather than see things for what they are, with fact.

it's just too easy to say so-and-so beat cancer because cindy christian "prayed" about it. nevermind the chemo, the medicine and myriad other treatment options.

in fact, for cindy christian to think she's so important that she has the FUCKING EAR OF GAWD to request with it whatever she likes kinda proves just how pompous and egocentric xtrian folks tend to be.

and why doesn't cindy christian's invisible sky daddy answer her prayers to stop those children from getting raped, or those wives from getting beaten, or those tsunamis from wrecking entire villages!?!?

pray harder, cindy christian. pray HARDER.

(image via smbc)