TMI, yo

my friends, klepper and grey, are at it again, only this time you'll get less philosophical reflection and more nitty gritty nast from yuppieville central.

HOLLA!

It's fri-deezy so do the happy dance!!!

you know you're doing it.

as you should.

carry on.

(image via skull swap)

From fearless to comfortably numb and fighting to get back

one of the hallmarks of my character used to be that i was pretty fearless. moving to another country on a whim. taking a road never traveled just to see where it goes. walking into a new place and immersing myself in whatever might be happening there without even thinking about it.

i used to do all of that.

often.

but somewhere in the last 2 or 3 years i became that proverbial "old man", perfectly stuck in what's familiar, even if not comfortable; i became repugnant of risk, a sort of slave to routine.

i feel like that this change has taken a toll on me. and i'm ready to go back to the adventurous spirit i once was. i feel like a major change must take place... that i need to move or i need to find a new job or i need to just disappear for a couple weeks and... find myself?

the only problem is: i'm scared.

Thinking in the nearer future

a recent goal of mine has been to cash in on my innate need for sleep. for the last year or so, i've actually been thinking about sleep, not just doing it when i have to, but really, seriously thinking about it. and, reasonably speaking, i try to get as much of it as possible.

i know that it is my body's primary response to the vigorous training i've been putting it through (the running, the boxing), but a fine byproduct of always being well rested is a sort of calm about the future that i've never really had before. i feel less stressed out. i feel more grounded in reality.

this is not to say i don't have the usual anxieties anymore (i do) but it is to say that with the extra rest comes what seems like an extra dose of chill-out-edness.

and that's fucking cool, man.

(image via skull swap)

Penis drawing fever

i've been noticing penises showing up on random signage, billboards, bus stop benches. it's been going on for a while now.

but when i was in new york i was floored by how many dicks i saw penciled and markered in just about everywhere. in the trains, on the trains, on the train platforms. it's quite the pandemic.

i wonder if monkeys go around drawing dicks in the dirt to show their friends.

i'm betting they do.

Somewhere, in a galaxy far, far away...

considering how unfathomably gigantic the universe is, there's a pretty good shot that somewhere among the stars there could be life. and if there is life, it could be intelligent life. and if there is intelligent life, then surely they too have an annoyingly enormous faction of insane delusionoids making outrageous, unprovable claims that bring progression to a halt.

or, perhaps they're intelligent enough to see through the bullshit, and, ultimately put an end to it. however possible.

one can only hope.

(via smbc)

Why the original conan the barbarian kicks all ass

still angry that the powerstrokers in hollyweird remade yet another one of my favorite movies that should NEVER have been touched, i decided to watch conan the barbarian (starring arnold schwarzenegger and james earl jones) for like... i dunno... the umpteen hundredth time???

i'm sorry, but as far as cinema goes, it's hard for me to find another scene more earth shatteringly badass yet painfully depressing than that of young conan witnessing his mother's death.

my words will never do it justice. so... just enjoy it.

We've come light years from the VHS pause

it's time to thank technology for being better than this.

because if you were a teenage boy in the 90s with a family video card, you know you tried this at least three times.

(image via those crazy fucking brits)

Another constance k. homerun

been a while since i last gave a shout out to my favorite photographer, but this particular shot caught my eye. i've noticed that when it comes to constance k's work, i'm mostly drawn to those pieces that play with geometry, or rather, pieces that are accentuated by geometry.

even in high school i had a boner for geometry and shapes and graphs and lines. as someone with a pretty intense grade of OCD, this is probably a natural attraction, but one thing is for sure: it is constant.

look at how the bricked pattern plays with the concrete alongside it and then how the pillars erupt out of that order to spawn yet another pattern up top. my eyes dart around this photo like a pinball, and it never gets old.

(image via constance k.)

A great interview with my favorite dick

when it comes to great minds of now, i can't imagine a list that didn't include richard dawkins. the new york times ran this great piece on him recently and i encourage you to read it. (read his books too, they're fascinatingly badass)

here are a few quotes from the article that stand out to me:

“Religion teaches you to be satisfied with nonanswers. It’s a sort of crime against childhood.”

“I’ve had perfectly wonderful conversations with Anglican bishops, and I rather suspect if you asked in a candid moment, they’d say they don’t believe in the virgin birth. But for every one of them, four others would tell a child she’ll rot in hell for doubting.”

“If you look up at the Milky Way through the eyes of Carl Sagan, you get a feeling in your chest of something greater than yourself. And it is. But it’s not supernatural.”

boo yah.

Table for three, please

(i would write something clever here but, um... i'm not thinking clearly and i need to go now. SEE YA!)

*image via hcibs*

This is a real breakfast of champions, bitch

sorry, but any time i see a plate full of bacon like that i get all wound up and start calling everyone "bitch".

nothing personal.

seriously though, is there really anything that tastes better than bacon?

no. the answer to that question is no. and you know it.

bitch.

Losing time can be trippy (and fun)

i'm a runner.

i run.

that's what i do.

despite what my job title says, despite my undying devotion to baseball, despite my female form worship, i'm first and foremost: a runner.

and i often tell people that, for me, the worst part about running is that eventually, i have to stop.

but what happens between the time i start and the time i stop is a magic time. i never know what's going to happen. sometimes i figure shit out. sometimes i let my imagination flow. sometimes i get really emotional. and sometimes i just fucking play, like a kid, take off and boom. whatever happens happens.

on sunday, i ran 20 miles with a pace group. i wanted to stay with this fast group for the entire jaunt so i spent several days just thinking about it, prior to the run, preparing my mind (and body) for the heavy task i was going to ask of it. and as i crossed the finish line i looked down at my watch and saw that i had been running for 2 hours and 30 minutes.

and i couldn't remember a fucking thing.

was that... was that... what the fuck was that????

my mind totally blanked for two and a half hours! all i remember is following the guy in front of me, and breathing. often. other than those basics, i had not a single thought the entire time! what a fucking trip!

what a fucking awesome, confusing, badass trip!

huzah!!!

This is some sick shit

rick perry is a christian. fine, everybody knows that.

but this dude is one of those uber sick and twisted christians (redundant? yes?) who injects his delusions into the everyday goings on of the state. y'know, like encouraging prayer in public schools and asking his fellow statesmen to pray for a solution to his state's problems rather than actually doing any-fucking-thing about them.

how have we gotten to this point? how have we -- a society that has gone to the moon, a society that has prolonged the average lifespan, a society that prides itself on so-called "liberties" -- how have we allowed these fucking delusionoids the power to wield their fairy tales as weapons of the state?

i know it has become somewhat cliche to say shit like, "if so and so is elected president, i'm moving to another country"; and the truth is: the cancer of religion has already infected the political infrastructure, so much so that it really doesn't matter who the president is anyway, but goddamn it if rick perry wouldn't be the ripest reason to get the hell off this rock.

Preach it, chuck!

now, isn't that inspiring? he left out the parts of how the delusional religious factions are pissing in the pool of progress, but otherwise this is an inspiring message that still stands today.

What's your mutant power?!?!

me?

i can run really long distances without getting too tired.

it's not quite the sexy mutant power though, i admit.

how 'bout you? what's YOUR mutant power?

Van damme: at least the dude knows his place

from badass action flick star, to pathetic drunk, van damme has run the gamut of hollyweird perception.

and now he's made the best career move possible: being in these high-fucking-larious coors commercials.

since it tastes like cold horse piss, i still won't buy coors, but if it came down to that and natty light i might consider it now.

THANK YOU, INTERNET!

believe me. i will NEVER fucking forget. never.

Predictable george makes hitler angry

every time there's a new format for a film (vhs, laser disc, dvd, now BLU RAY), george lucas shits all over his three star wars classics. he adds cgi yoda, he adds cgi jabba, he adds cgi breasts-- wait, no. WHY HASN'T HE ADDED CGI BREASTS?!?!?

anyway, if you haven't heard by now, he's screwing with perfection AGAIN.

and hitler is pissed.

Almost dead? so fucking what?

while there are several things wrong with the above image (including atrocious spelling), i wonder if there might be some irony in the message.

why are we humans so fucking afraid of death? if you're worried about it, that means you haven't experienced it yet. further, if we haven't experienced it yet, how can we be so sure it's a bad thing?

obviously, it is a fear that seems to be quite universal among the living. but logic -- based on what i do know to be true -- would say i have nothing to fear, that death is really just the absence of life, and i didn't know i wasn't alive before i was born, so why would i know i was dead after i'm gone?

and the promises of eternal life and everlasting spiritual existence after you die by the delusionoids running the religion rackets? HA! they're sellin' wolf tickets, my friends. they're scared shitless (again, why? i dunno) and one way of feeling better about not existing is the group mind fallacy (so far as we can actually prove) that all the delusional folks get to go on living forever.

if our species doesn't destroy itself with weapons of mass fucking destruction, one day our sciences will make it possible to live forever. i truly believe that. exponential law leads us down that path and it's going to happen, eventually.

i wonder what ethical questions will come from that... and i wonder if the delusionoids will, by then, be seen for what they are: INSANE. maybe they'll even be banished to the crazy corner so they stop meddling in the affairs of the educated.

Pat robertson gets confused

not only does this highly influential delusionoid get confused about what his own god tells him he should do, but he also gets picky-n-choosey over how some clearly outlined god rules are understood when he's confronted about it.

this, my friends, is one of those delusionoid tactics that just...

will...

not...

DIE.

Happy friday, sigma kappa

The truth about lightsabers

to be completely honest, i have thought about this scenario. more than once.

many times, in fact.

in college, in anticipation of episode one coming to the big screen, my nerdy college buddies and i all stocked up on lightsaber weaponry. during our many battles, i was nicked, scraped and sometimes full on bloodied with those fluorescent plastic tubes.

WHAT IF THEY WERE REAL?!?!

i wouldn't have lasted more than a few minutes. just turning the damn thing on would be a hazard. (though not as much of a suicide-inducing hazard as actually watching episode one).

(pie chart via skull swap)

(lightsaber duel image via my real life scrapbook. yes, that's a 12 years younger me squatting, going for the KILL)

More child abuse

i just returned from a nice multi-day new york getaway, and my brain is a bit fried. i will get back to thought provoking randomness shortly. in the meantime, please try not to break anything after watching this child abuse video.

y'know, they do this same thing in north korea, only instead of jeebus, they sing about kim jong il.

WARNING: this vid may give you herpes

as painful as it is to accept, this is happening.

if this isn't proof there is no god, then i don't know what is. imagine how many innocent eardrums are going to bleed out.

THINK OF THE EARDRUMS!

*despite the ear bleeding, kim's caboose is still a national treasure.

Aw fuck

this could be a movie. i'm sure bruckheimer is looking for a new project.

git 'er done!

Japanese video roulette

oh boy.

i'm willing to bet most folks can't make it passed the one minute mark on this video without a) going mad b) breaking something c) desperately shutting off the sound or destroying the motherboard

Darth mufasa

the lion king is the only cartoon i have watched at least 20 times, from start to finish, including three times in the theater.

i think it's pretty clear why.

(image via those crazy fucking brits)

Remembering

i'm in new york city today. all weekend. i'm taking in this 10 year stuff. going to the mets game tonight and i look forward to being involved with the ceremonies and speeches.

say what you want about politics (certainly they were involved), but this shit happened because of religion and i'll never forget that day and how it changed my life.

people have been murdering people over their imaginary friends for a long fucking time. isn't it about time we catch up to reason and stop this shit?

Crazy as fuck, but ballsy as hell

this is some far-out trippy shit.

it's also hilarious.

to think, this guy has it down... that he knows exactly what heaven is like (YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN MANSION!!!)... how can people -- whackjobs or not -- actually believe this shit?!?!?

Dream race

the UTMB 103 mile race was held the last weekend in august. i kept tabs on it via the interwebs, thirsty for some video, and when some of it came out, oh boy... i got the willies.

watch this breathtaking video (you may want to click the youtube link and watch it there 'cuz blogspot won't let you see the whole screen for some reason):

that may be the most terrifyingly beautiful terrain i have ever seen. and one day... i am going to run that race.

believe that.

Um... gonna hafta try harder than that

on it's own, this cartoon would probably warrant a slight chuckle; however, i received it from a full-fledged delusionoid family member who is "extremely worried" about my "godless soul".

it seems she is offering this to me as a possible explanation for something she cannot explain otherwise.

sorry.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Another random ode to greatness

much of who i am today in regards to my ability to ask questions and seek answers and be informed comes from the man blowing bubbles above.

i wish he were still alive. though i never met him, i feel like i know him, like i would know an uncle or grandfather.

i'm getting close to having finished all of his books. once i'm done reading them, i will face the tough reality that there aren't any more.

while some people might not see any issue with that, for me, it makes me... sad.

(gif via skull swap)

Toe-MAY-toe, to-MAH-toe, you're all fucking crazy

this man (and his delusional followers) are just as much to blame for islamic terrorism as anyone else. in fact, i would go as far as to say that what his evangelical movement has done to the united states is equally damaging as those acts of terrorism.

they have taken REASON hostage and duped a throng of idiots into following a path of racist, sexist, homophobic lunacy DISGUISED as altruism.

sorry, but the very nature of religion -- a means to control a society with delusional promises it can't possibly back up -- cancels out any true altruist yearnings. 

how can you be altruistic while spreading a fucking cancerous lie?

I cannot help myself

i truly believe that higher consciousness requires admitting one's weakness.

so i admit, i cannot stop laughing at this classic photobomb. no matter how much time passes, this will always crack my shit up.

(image via ihmp)

Daddy, is there a puppy heaven?

(click image to enlarge)

(via smbc)

"Dear religion" by 9GAG

(via 9GAG)

Yummmmmm

suddenly i feel like i COULD be the marrying type.

*jaw drop*

In case you were in need of a good ear bleeding with my commentary

yikes. that was tough to sit through.

my grandma lois (she died in 2004) was a straight shooter skeptic. even though she was surrounded by "the lord" and "his people" her whole life, she never let on like any of it was for real. in fact, in private she used to tell me what she really thought: that it was all hogwash.

and she was right.

though an aunt of mine recently told me that during her last days she was pressured into "being saved" by her peers. there was little she could do to thwart it. a victim of several strokes, she could barely speak those last several weeks and she was rendered completely immobile.

those folks are just lucky i wasn't aware they were stomping on her fucking deathbed door.

HOW FUCKING SELFISH THESE DELUSIONOIDS ARE!!! IT'S ALL ABOUT THEM, WITH NO REGARD FOR REASON, LOGIC OR EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE.

they can't even let a woman die in peace!

FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM ALL!

I did not know that!

one thing that separates reason-minded folks from religious delusionoids is our ultimate trust in knowledge, and along with that goes being able to admit that the human race has just barely scratched the surface of what there is to know about the universe we inhabit.

the sheer ignorance required to think we really know all there is to know about the physical world and to assume it was the work of a bearded guy in the sky is absolutely mind boggling to me.

how dare you think you know everything!

that being said, knowledge is power. and one advantage of not having a social life (read: not having a girlfriend) is being able to focus my energies on soaking up as much knowledge as possible. and boy have i got a lot of work to do!

as a sinophile, i'm embarrassed that i know very little about tibet and its history, so i picked up a book and intend to get informed.

stocking is the new planking and i gotta learn me some of that!

a recent re-viewing of the matrix reminded me that i know next to nothing about alternate states of consciousness and the possibilities born out of philosophical thought experiments, so here i come nietzsche! here i come, camus!

of course, one can never know everything, but admitting that and trying to better one's self through knowledge is a much better alternative to wading in the status quo of being controlled by delusional barbarians.

free

your

fucking

mind

yo

Ah... yes! now it all makes sense!

the body and adaptation of the mind in the absence of sex

the human body is a remarkable thing.

we have become the alpha species on earth because of our extreme adaptability. starting as a single celled organism 2.1 trillion years ago, which eventually became what we understand to be bipedal apes 3 million years ago, it only took 2 and half million years before the first homo erectus started gettin' jiggy.

and you know what else?

it took my body four days to even realize i hadn't masturbated... in four days!

the mind distracted itself while my body went into shock.

i think.

"Bone dry"

this is one of those rare works of art that both refreshes the mind and asks provocative questions... all while makin' you laugh!

admittedly, the couple's "problem" is one that is completely foreign to me (it's been over a decade since i was in a serious relationship for more than a year) but i can say that it is something i have thought about. there are two couples i know in particular, both of them happily married for 40+ years now, and i often ask myself: what the fuck do they even talk about anymore? so while i can't possibly fathom the issue, the hypothetical me can certainly respect and admire it.

klepper (the dude in the vid) proposes that perhaps the definition of love is the continuous wanting more of someone... it's that feeling of never being satisfied with just the experiences you've had with your partner, but always wanting more.

i have never felt that.

oh sure, i've had it early on in a relationship... but i've never had it for the long hauled ones. eventually, after six months or so, i'm burned out, oddly enough around the same time conflict begins to rear its ugly fucking head.

i thought i might be really falling in love though once. recently in fact. last year.

i was in a relationship that was so unlike any that i'd ever been in before (in a positive way) that i was truly beginning to discover the unknown. my feelings had never been so fueled for just one person before.

and then, after just three months, she left and i never saw or talked to her again.

fucking tragic, right? i guess. maybe not.

maybe i'm just not the love-type. seriously. i love being alone. i love that. and i honestly don't understand the hype around love. is it necessary? most mammals seem to continue the species just fine without being "in love". what purpose does it serve? is it what makes humans human? and if it is, and everyone can feel it, am i just fucked up? am i on the same level as what we call "sociopaths", people with no regard for humanity?

i hope not. i feel empathy. i love my mom. i love my dad. i love my family, and i know that that requires i regard them differently than strangers, but, this loving and fucking combination, that i don't get. has anyone ever questioned this before and gotten a good answer!?

i know some people -- LOTS of people actually -- who have been in love MULTIPLE times. lots of times even! one of my sisters has been "in love" her entire adult life, with four different dudes!

but me... i've never felt it. and after watching this video i know that i've never felt it. what these two people are talking about, the "love" they have for each other and ultimately rediscover at the end, that shit is completely foreign to me.

never even been close to that.