oh sure, i'm still a middle class white guy, but at a party my sister threw i was a) the oldest person in the room b) the only one without a mate c) one of two who was not married (the other was engaged) d) the only one without a child e) the only one who does not own a home or a car made within the last decade.
other than my sister and her family, i didn't know any of the folks at the party and upon meeting all of them it seemed the only things they cared to know about me were: are you married? do you have kids? what do you do for a living? their reactions to my answers to all of the above told me they all felt sorry for me. SERIOUSLY!!!
and, even worse, they were also all delusionoids! one woman spoke openly about why she and her husband did not use birth control: "because god doesn't make mistakes".
oh. m'kay. then why bother putting all that makeup on, you stupid fucking bitch!?!?!?!
That's why I am uncomfortable at family gatherings. Well, most social events. No one wants to talk about anything that I am interested in and I am not interested in the things they want to talk about.
ReplyDeleteI don't care about "sports". I have no "career". My politics make people twitchy. I don't respect their religious delusions and won't nod in agreement when they talk about their imaginary friend. I am "living in sin" (I wish!) with the monstrously unpleasant mother of my youngest child, and will flat-out tell meddlers I WILL NOT marry her. So I just steer conversation back to the few safe topics. Or fantasize about the hot girls around me.
I have mentioned them before, because they were such a wealth of hilarity, but the couple who taught a "Young Marrieds" Sunday school class I was in (the ones who claimed dinosaur fossils were just "big pig bones") also had a major weep-fest one Sunday over all the children they never had because they hadn't trusted god, and had used birth control. Sob! BooHooo! Believe me, they did the world a favor!
indeed they did. if only more of them wrapped that shit up!!!
ReplyDeletei'm on board the same boat, kent, except, i actually love sports. the difference is, i'm such a nerd about them that i have very little patience for the passive (read: ill-informed) fan.
i have been told that i take my "self-imposed intellectualism" too far when it comes to baseball, but if people don't like it they can blow me. hehehe.
I can understand asking a few of the "what do you do for a living" kind of questions at the beginning of a conversation but how boring to have that be the point of the conversation, and how stupid to be judgmental over "non-traditional" answers instead of enjoying the possibility of talking about something other than endless kid and baby prattle.
ReplyDeleteEven when you're not dealing with the religious right, similar things can happen. I have been dismayed by how much our circle of friends have distanced themselves from my husband and I since a) we ceased having real disposable income (dual mortgage industry home = '08 - '10 were Uh-uh-gly) and b) found out I can't have kids (c'est la vie). You'd think there would be more things to talk about like, I don't know, everything else that's going on in the world right now, but apparently baby plans, moving up the corporate ladder and buying expensive things are the magic responsible adult cards in your 30s. I think it's fine to have and want those things, but how terribly boring and sad if that's all there is, you know.
a-fucking-men, blithescribe!!!
ReplyDeletelet's start the revolution NOW. our alternate-coursed lifestyles are awesome, as long as we own them and don't allow the establishment to knock us down.
*FIST BUMPS*
After getting the pity face from strangers too many times when they found out I wasn't married or mother to any babies I devisd a strategy. I answer the marriage/baby questions with the same amount of enthusiasm that most people who are married or have children do. They get to be all excited about there life chooses so why can't I?
ReplyDeleteNow if someone says "are you married?" I say "Absolutely not, and I love it" big smiles, big happy face. They say "Have any children", I say "Nope and never will, I love my alone time and wouldn't give it up." said with the same overly dramatic joy that most people use to talk about being a parent.
I can't say they pity me any less but it definitely shocks them that I don't express regret about not having these things in my life.
that's awesome! the only drawback is they might see us as being sarcastic, when in fact, the joy i get from not being married and not having kids is FAR from sarcastic. that's some real deal happyland shit.
ReplyDeleteI have also thought about telling people I am physically unable to have children, said with a sad face so they feel bad for even asking the question. It would serve them right, it's none of their fucking business why I don't have kids. To me it seems like an oddly personal topic to be asking total strangers about.
ReplyDeleteyou're right. never thought of it that way, but asking me why i don't have kids is a pretty personal question that i shouldn't have to tell a fucking stranger. excellent point.
ReplyDelete