Being aware sucks sometimes
because when one really opens himself up to what is going on all around him, it's hard to be a whiny bitch and feel good about it.
still, i'm not perfect. and i struggle with it daily.
i don't want to be so reliant on things and materials and shit that doesn't matter, but i get sucked into it all the same.
my worries tend to revolve around money. i never have enough of it. i feel overworked, underpaid. my job is not enjoyable so i end up dwelling on that fact rather than making the best of it. i'm not proud of that fact, but it is the truth.
so, with being aware, one must also learn how to put in perspective what matters and what doesn't.
and right now, whether or not i have those new shoes or those new jeans or those new gaiters doesn't really fucking matter.
to my own credit though, i'm still watching all major league baseball games on a shitty ass 28 inch tube television. so i should get points for that.