Are you raising a douchebag?

since i'm seemingly allergic to longterm meaningful relationships, i'm thinking i won't have to worry about this, but it is happening.

a lot.

living in the big city, i see a fair share of privileged youth acting like douchebags just because they can and they know it. this has caused me to enjoy the company of children up to about the age of 12, when i can't help but deplore them and wish they would go away.

(image via ihmp)

Try not to puke

every few weeks i force myself to watch thirty minutes or so of the craptastic shitstorms found on christian television (on direct tv there are about 15 of these independent "christian" stations). i do this so i know what sort of lies exist, so i know how to prepare for the crazy train when it tries to knock down my door.

the bulk of what one sees on those channels is fucking disgusting. they beg for your money and feed you a bunch of separatist party lines disguised as "altruism".

and, of course, they try to sell you a bunch of shit.... like this:

the only cost to you is a $35 "DONATION".

what a bunch of fucking thieves.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

i've been doing it wrong!!!

Shit is real gray

sometimes we can learn a lot from our dogs.

Hope for humanity takes another fucking lump

a south carolina couple saw the face of jesus in a receipt from wal-mart and hailed it as "a blessing that god showed it to us and opened our eyes."

opened your eyes?

puh-lease.

if you opened your fucking eyes you might just see how FUCKING IGNORANT YOU ARE. yes, OF COURSE, "GOD" came down and decided to show his face to YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, because YOU TWO ARE FUCKING SPECIAL and the rest of the world, full of different folks from different places with different beliefs, well, they're all just fucked.

i wish i could just get away from all the stupid.

Knowing who you are

one thing i struggle with is being able to identify who i am rather succinctly. i think this harkens back to an older age, but it's always bothered me anyway, not knowing who i am.

we tend to be defined by what we do for a living. he's a banker. she's a chef. he's a bus driver.

i'm a... bookstore manager? that fucking blows. that's not what i wanted to be when i grow up.

so when people ask me what i am i just say "i'm a writer" or "i'm a runner", even though i make zero dollars doing those things.

to some that's cheating, but to me, that's surviving the question without breaking things. i wish i could make a living doing what i love and i'm trying to get there, but it's not easy. if it were easy, everyone would do it, right?

anyway, all the above came to mind after watching the young beat-machine prince, araabMUZIK throw down on his MP. there's no question what this dude is: A BEAT MAKING MASTER.

Sweet dream

i have this dream a lot but instead of that red beach towel, princess leia is always sitting on my face.

You can have your delusional meatland

the delusionoids just LOVE to pick and choose which parts of the precious bible they believe to be true. they like to pick and choose what's metaphorical, what's contextual, etc... except, the delusionoids can't even agree among themselves what's what.

meanwhile, people with working brains see it for what it is:

COMPLETE BULLSHIT

(image via smbc)

Tanksbeduhgawd

i spent three weeks watching le tour de france -- the most torturous 21 days in all of sports -- and i was pleasantly surprised that all of the post stage interviews i saw with the winners/leaders were absent of giving "god" the credit for their accomplishments.

i wonder if this is because the field is international, where the backwoods US american dumbshit philosophies don't quite creep in.

in any case, i didn't have to suffer through any "evander moments", and that was a major plus.

MOMA strikes out

i had the same reaction after my last visit.

GIBBUSUMDINOFUCKINSAURSYO!

(image via ihmp)

Thesauric confusicated chaotivity

when i was in the 8th grade, i made the mistake of overusing the thesaurus to the point where my teacher called me up in front of the class and asked me to read my paper out loud to everyone. i did, but it was embarrassing. it didn't make any sense, no one knew what i was saying (including me) and there was a lot of misfit laughter involved.

luckily, my teacher gave me a second chance rather than an "F".

i became a writer on that day.

will never forget it.

(image via smbc)

My church is better than their church

i love being outdoors. i crave sunlight. i live off of activity, gotta be moving.

trail running is one of those things i indulge in. every sunday i pack up my car and head to the palos forest preserve and go crazy on the miles and miles of single track at my disposal. zipping down the slopes, slogging up the bluffs, hop-scotching horse shit and racing the mosquitos...

that's my church.

when i strap on my kicks and enter the forest, i am entering holy ground... holier ground than you'll ever find in some ornate roman-catholic cathedral, holier ground than you'll find at any mosque, at any synagogue.

man is not holy. man likes to THINK he is holy, but he's full of shit. and all of the above things are made by man, for man (whether you admit to that truth or not).

the forest though... that's fucking nature. and if you wanna know the beauty of nature, go play in her playground every sunday like i do.

and if you wanna know the wrath of nature -- a wrath far more powerful than any make-believe sky daddy angst -- just go out into mother nature's playground unprepared. forget your water bottle, don't bring any snacks, get caught in a violent storm and see how long you last.

mother nature*... that's something i don't fuck with. i give her all the respect in the world.

*DISCLAIMER: i use "mother nature" as a metaphor for NATURE. i don't believe there is an actual mother out there running around watering flowers and shit.

Zoe johnston and the new above and beyond

it is no secret that i get an instant mind boner anytime i hear kickass female vocals. i don't know what it is, maybe i didn't get enough love from my mommy when i was a boy or something... but i do dig me some chica song.

the latest from above and beyond does not disappoint. the group therapy album is full of female badassery, starting with zoe johnston (featured here). rather than post the whole song (which may be taken down any day or two by the music pirate nazis), here's an official sneak peak from above and beyond's account:

it's vocal tracks like that that make me think, well, maybe there are such things as angels.

nah, i'm fucking kidding.

but the song is stellar.

Nightmare

two things i have very little patience for: jeebus freak delusionoids and jagerbombs.

seriously, jager tastes like cough syrup and red bull tastes like crushed up flinstones vitamins.

i don't understand the appeal... but i can't understand how an invisible guy in the sky wields so much invisible power either, so i guess i'm just fucked.

p.s. does anyone EVER look good in a self-clicked iphone pic? that and the duck face... i refuse to give in.

This is so fucking disturbing you might wanna hurt someone

these types of "bible school materials" are real. they exist. all around us.

in fact, my sister just drove five hours to take her three year old to a vacation bible school back home where her son could be brainwashed the right way ('cuz she didn't trust the delusionoids in her own backyard).

i don't get it. i never will.

yet the children... they're the ones who must suffer from STUPID.

(image via tcd)

Mission statement: there is no mission, just unloading

when i first started this SKY GOD! project, the idea was to simply create a space where i could speak my mind -- on any subject, at any time -- no holds barred.

still is.

someone asked me the other day: "what are you gonna do when you run out of bad things to say about religion on your little website (my italics)?"

puh-lease.

my goal here is not to just point out the ill effects of religion... but i do it a lot because it's on my mind a lot, because it's fucking up our world A LOT and it has caused a mountainous divide throughout my family.

but the most important thing, for me, is having a place where i can write whatever the fuck i want whenever the fuck i want. it's groovy, man. try it.

i think that's fair. if you have "a little website"... then do whatever the fuck you want with it.

Amia miley

you look so fresh and so clean

do you like haiku?

Big problems

ironically, the most disturbing part of this photograph is not the practically naked, carpet-chested sloth with the kiddie porn mustache.

This idiot woman makes my whole body hurt with embarrassment for my species

In case you were wondering...

vanessa hudgens is still smokin' hot...

lindsay lohan????????

not so much.... which is a shame 'cuz she used to be bangin'.

One of those golden moments

i was at work and it was just one of those days where ya wanna slit your wrists with a rusty butter knife. the phone rings at 4:50 p.m. and from the caller i.d. i immediately knew who it was.  shit, i thought. now i'm fucked.

i had to answer it, but i knew i'd be on the phone for-fucking-ever and i wouldn't be able to leave work on time. so i hunkered down and endured.

30 minutes LATER!!!!!... i'm fucking losing my mind, the call is almost over, we have agreed that i would ship him some books... and he suggested i send it by airmail, that, in all seriousness, i "should use that company that tom hanks worked for before he got dropped on that island with that volleyball".

it took every ounce of muscle i had to restrain the laughter that wanted to fly out of my face.

Not a joke, but it should be

by now, it's quite obvious how ridiculous the catholic church is. they're into pedophilia coverups, racism, sexism... they hate the gays... and they do crazy shit like say they're drinking the blood of jeebus.

a female friend of mine is going to be in a catholic wedding soon and she has just been informed that all of the bridesmaids (she's one of them) have to find an accessory to cover their shoulders during the service because this particular parish FORBIDS bare shoulders.

sure, makes total sense. bare female shoulders almost ALWAYS leads to MEN EVERYWHERE JERKING OFF IN UNISON, LUSTING AND PERFORMING ODD SEX ACTS LIKE RABID ANIMALS LOCKED UP FOR CENTURIES FAR FAR AWAY FROM THE FAIRER SEX.

give me a fucking break, catholic church. you are so fucking full of yourselves, so fucking blind to reality, to progress, to ANYTHING that makes sense in our modern world.

you're not in the saving business, you're in the fucking mind control business.

you make me fucking sick.

When vanity gets to "heaven"...

(image via skull swap)

"Credulity" and religion have no place together

after a bunch of lobbying, bickering and whatever else, the pastafarian in austria who demanded his driver's license pic include his "religious" headgear (a pasta strainer, duh) has finally gotten his wish.

but i fear his point is being missed.

society in general makes all kinds of exceptions for delusionoids. muslims, christians, jews... whoevs... they're all crazy and they're all allowed certain privileges based on that crazy.

there is no credulity in religion 'cuz it's all fucking make-believe!!!

GET A GRIP! THERE IS NO FUCKING BEARDED MAN IN THE SKY SO STOP EXPECTING THE WORLD TO LAY DOWN FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE DERANGED.

:-)

Back to the drawing board? or get rich quick.

i haven't been on a date in a while. due to a hearty streak of awful experiences, i pretty much pulled myself out of it. i'm fine with that.

my online profile is still there, just in case... but i'm not actively tryin' to holla at interweb females anymore. not for now at least.

a friend of mine, new to the single world, suggests we start going about it the old fashioned way, by hanging out in bars and buying chicks drinks, chatting them up, etc.

i'm not really keen on the idea. a) i don't drink much b) i don't particularly like hanging out in bars and c) i don't think i really want to be in a relationship with someone who hangs out in bars to meet men, but then i realized i was being judgmental and resolved to be open to anything.

for example... we tried hanging out at the pool club in his building (a real swanky chi town joint), to meet women. they flock there. in droves. and the percentage of hot ones is higher than anywhere else i've ever been (outside of the new york subway system -- nyc has a hot chick over population problem). i kept racking my brain, trying to understand why there were so many hot ones at this one place. and then it donned on me: MONEY. 

fucking money. the place where he lives is pretty exclusive. he makes a handsome salary, so that's no surprise. once i made the connection, it made total sense. these women are husband-hunting and money is the name of the game.

i don't have a lot of money. i live pretty modestly. and as soon as those types of chicks find out i don't have any money (it doesn't take them long, believe me), they conveniently forget to return my phone calls.

i'm thinkin' it's time to rethink things.

or, better yet, stop thinking.

period.

Statism and the fallacy of god

politically, i'm a left leaner, but the more i educate myself, the more i question the validity of the state.

my liberty guru wrote a great piece on the similarities between the two, and i think you will find it equally eye-opening.

the comment section gets a bit rowdy. i try not to get into arguments/debates where i am not well informed enough to be taken seriously, but i always marvel at those who do. one commenter went so far as to explain how god works.

i find it infinitely frustrating that believers say they know so fucking much about their precious, delusionoid GOD and how he works and why he does what he does... yet they can't seem to provide any elementary evidence of his existence.

that seems like a lot of wasted time and energy if you ask me, to spend so much time "understanding" and "knowing" something one can't even fucking prove is there.

"I'm gonna go play ping pong now"

here is a child's reaction to meeting a married gay couple for the first time.

his response is pure. he asks a few questions to make sure he understands it correctly, then seems satisfied and becomes more interested in playing.

if only the ass backwards state would do the same.

WE CAN LEARN A LOT FROM OUR KIDS!

Hello and good mornin!

(via hcibs)

A new badass artist to add to the mix

from tycho i learned of com truise, and let me tell ya, com truise is uberwickedyo!!! below is one of my favorite tracks thus far... but there are about 9 or 10 i have been listening to on repeat. the rhythms are basic hip-hoppish, the melodies 80s synth and the sampling is just ridonkulously good (i especially value the purposely roaming pitch controls, giving the tone that "tapey" feel so prevalent in the 80s).

enjoy!

What i do when giada delaurentis is on television

(click to enlarge)

in fact, i'd argue that giada has the greatest set of knockers SEEN on television. EVER.



(you'll definitely wanna click to enlarge this one)

Oh hell

this is a good reason. there are plenty more though. like, why would a loving sky daddy damn his subjects to eternal suffering, especially if their non-belief is rooted in something arbitrary, something they never had a choice in to begin with... like... er... um.... GEOGRAPHY?

fucking delusionoid twits. a selfish lot.

(image via smbc)

Running on the sun

as an endurance athlete, i think it's safe to say that i have some sort of strange attraction to pain. i crave it. i need it. i get it. while running a marathon (26.2 miles) might be enough for some folks, i need more than that. 31 miles isn't enough either. i think 50 miles is right in my wheelhouse... 100 miles is pushing it (that's my goal for 2012)...

but running 135 miles in 125 degree temperatures on a fucking ROAD in the middle of the summer? um... no. not interested.

for now, anyway...

but the real-life stories and individuals featured in this documentary entitled running on the sun (which is available for viewing free on YouTube), is so moving that i just have to share. this is part one. it's 11 parts long (feature length), but worth every second if you wanna know just how strong the human spirit can be. this is some real inspiring shit right here.

They sure as shit don't make 'em like they used to...

for the record, i would buy a fresh pile of shit straight from a pig's ass if ann margret were selling it.

Glad to know i'm not the only one prone to porn at every step, every turn

Don't know how my pops does it

as a man, i am really, really, REALLY glad i don't have a daughter. with six sisters, i've already had my fair share of uber-nasty run-ins with would-be suitors, guys talkin' about what they'd do to them, and just plain dickfucks who've needed a talkin' to every now and then.

but being the father of someone whom half the planet really just wants to fuck, well, that don't interest me one bit.

i have a buddy who has two daughters and he is already paranoid about what the future will hold.

i don't envy him. i don't envy him one bit.

(image via ihmp)

Scurry memories

i saw this pic of the pet sematary kid, lil boy gage, over on ihmp and i immediately got goosebumps... like in that scary somebody's watching me sorta way.

i got goosebumps cuz this movie scared the bejeebusy SHIT outta me when i was a kid. remembering the collective trauma experienced by my sisters and i after watching it, i recently tried watching it again, to see if i could relive that fear factor moment.

the movie was so bad it was unwatchable.

nowadays, it's very hard to scare me, which sucks, 'cuz i used to LOOOOOOOVE horror movies. but, for the most part, i simply can't sit through them anymore because they're not scary anymore.

where's hollywood when you really fucking need 'em?

The latest markus schulz brainfry

markus schulz has been doing sexy time on my ears for a long time now (though i didn't realize he was quite the prolific producer until recently!). his tracks are the kind that sorta sneak into my consciousness only to resurface later, when things like environment and mood combine to make sweet, sweet love. his melodies seem to dance out of that... and i'm glad they do.

the latest to hypnotize me is this 65.4Hz track... which will really take you over around the 3:24 mark.

dude is a hit machine.

Now this is some shit worth being crazy for...

... in fact, i might even sit through an entire catholic delusionoid service if the "body of christ" were slathered with nutella.

just sayin'.

(image via skull swap)

Man, we's doin' da NINETIES!!!

funkmaster flex.

spinnin da NINETIES.

say no more. just fuckin' enjoy this megabomb shit... and don't bring up no mc hammer or young mc antiruckus. DIS IS DA NINETIES!!!

yes, this vid is long. i suggest you hit play then try not to break nuffin!

Happy fucking USA day

hope you were like me and loaded up on booze ahead of time.

(thanks to A for the pic)

Horrible, terrible, awful things...

this is something i've been thinking about a lot lately. is LOVE worth it?

logically speaking, my experience over the last 32 years tells me no. no, it's not worth it. the pain and suffering will always come eventually... i've never not had that happen. every great relationship i've had (i can count on one hand, maybe only need 2, 3 fingers?) ended. and it didn't take long, relatively speaking.

and, of course, each time i was extremely hurt.

that hurt... that pain... it's something one never truly gets over. yes, the level of pain will get diluted over time, but it will still always be there, no matter how hard one tries to hide it.

and i really don't believe marriage is necessary... nor can i honestly say that monogamy is a reality i can live in. i mean, i don't know... i just don't know.

i'm not trying to be some sad, wallowing sap whining about not being in love. no. fuck that. i'm just thinking that "love"... that "need" to be with another person, i'm thinking that it might not be as universal as one would think.

maybe some of us are better off alone.

i said maybe, dammit.

Vomiting area

i love beer, but i don't drink much. i mean, i don't drink to get drunk. on average i probably have three drinks a week maybe... more if i'm out, but that's not a regular occurrence these days.

but the last time i got shitface-ripped-to-shreds was memorable. i mean, it was memorable up to the point i blacked out. i was with a buddy of mine and my brother-in-law, who was in town for a conference. my sister asked that i "take good care of him"... so my buddy and i got him full of whisky, tequila and a whole lotta beer.

we had fun (so i think)... and then all of the sudden, at about 3 a.m., we're all sitting at the late night bar, staring at each other, barely holding our heads up. i looked at my bro-in-law and said, "uh oh" then RACED for the bathroom.

i puked. bad. lots. everywhere. it was gross.

as i'm walking back out he is racing in, passed me, then i hear his wretched vomiting.

he comes out and says, "uh... that wasn't good. we better get outta here."

but then i had to piss, so i walked in the bathroom and then realized why he wanted to go so fast... between the two of us we fucking repainted that bitch with projectile vomit the way a child might paint a room if you gave him buckets of paint and a case of red bull.

we got outta there quick.

i am not proud of that story... but it is funny.

what's even funnier is that it took us a few days to actually remember the vomit-decorating happened. we pieced it together, bit by bit. like bros often do.

"Radar detector"

generally speaking, the hipster shit don't sit too well with me. i have a very hard time understanding how a group of people yearns to distance itself from the "norm" by being "different", which in turn creates a new "norm" of people who are "different" yet exactly the same (more on that story)...

but, i can't get this song out of my head so i figure it's worth sharing.

A belated congrats to new york state

so now it's not illegal in new york to marry whoever you want (as long as y'all ain't related i assume).

congratulations.

congrats on FINALLY doing the right thing. why government should have any say in the bedroom is beyond me, but it's a fucking travesty that most of the country remains stupid on the subject of something so basic and so fundamental as to being allowed to marry whoever the fuck you love, whether y'all share the same genital makeup or not.

get on that shit, USA! quit being a moronic state!