but the last time i got shitface-ripped-to-shreds was memorable. i mean, it was memorable up to the point i blacked out. i was with a buddy of mine and my brother-in-law, who was in town for a conference. my sister asked that i "take good care of him"... so my buddy and i got him full of whisky, tequila and a whole lotta beer.
we had fun (so i think)... and then all of the sudden, at about 3 a.m., we're all sitting at the late night bar, staring at each other, barely holding our heads up. i looked at my bro-in-law and said, "uh oh" then RACED for the bathroom.
i puked. bad. lots. everywhere. it was gross.
as i'm walking back out he is racing in, passed me, then i hear his wretched vomiting.
he comes out and says, "uh... that wasn't good. we better get outta here."
but then i had to piss, so i walked in the bathroom and then realized why he wanted to go so fast... between the two of us we fucking repainted that bitch with projectile vomit the way a child might paint a room if you gave him buckets of paint and a case of red bull.
we got outta there quick.
i am not proud of that story... but it is funny.
what's even funnier is that it took us a few days to actually remember the vomit-decorating happened. we pieced it together, bit by bit. like bros often do.
Once, while in Laughlin during Spring Break I walked into the ladies room in the Flamingo casino to find the floor and the walls freshly scrubbed and soaking wet and the cleaning woman sitting in the middle of the floor, scrub brush in hand, sobbing. Seriously, tears, wailing, the whole nine yards, all while ranting 'stupid, skanky college bitches'. Yes, it's obvious what had happened 20 mins or so prior but I still had to wonder how bad it had to have been to make a Laughlin casino cleaning woman break down sobbing...but the visual you, um, paint has given me a few ideas, LOL.
ReplyDeleteNASTY! poor lady... you're lucky you came in when you did, or you mighta had an accident yourself ;-)
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