9.01.2011
"Bone dry"
this is one of those rare works of art that both refreshes the mind and asks provocative questions... all while makin' you laugh!
admittedly, the couple's "problem" is one that is completely foreign to me (it's been over a decade since i was in a serious relationship for more than a year) but i can say that it is something i have thought about. there are two couples i know in particular, both of them happily married for 40+ years now, and i often ask myself: what the fuck do they even talk about anymore? so while i can't possibly fathom the issue, the hypothetical me can certainly respect and admire it.
klepper (the dude in the vid) proposes that perhaps the definition of love is the continuous wanting more of someone... it's that feeling of never being satisfied with just the experiences you've had with your partner, but always wanting more.
i have never felt that.
oh sure, i've had it early on in a relationship... but i've never had it for the long hauled ones. eventually, after six months or so, i'm burned out, oddly enough around the same time conflict begins to rear its ugly fucking head.
i thought i might be really falling in love though once. recently in fact. last year.
i was in a relationship that was so unlike any that i'd ever been in before (in a positive way) that i was truly beginning to discover the unknown. my feelings had never been so fueled for just one person before.
and then, after just three months, she left and i never saw or talked to her again.
fucking tragic, right? i guess. maybe not.
maybe i'm just not the love-type. seriously. i love being alone. i love that. and i honestly don't understand the hype around love. is it necessary? most mammals seem to continue the species just fine without being "in love". what purpose does it serve? is it what makes humans human? and if it is, and everyone can feel it, am i just fucked up? am i on the same level as what we call "sociopaths", people with no regard for humanity?
i hope not. i feel empathy. i love my mom. i love my dad. i love my family, and i know that that requires i regard them differently than strangers, but, this loving and fucking combination, that i don't get. has anyone ever questioned this before and gotten a good answer!?
i know some people -- LOTS of people actually -- who have been in love MULTIPLE times. lots of times even! one of my sisters has been "in love" her entire adult life, with four different dudes!
but me... i've never felt it. and after watching this video i know that i've never felt it. what these two people are talking about, the "love" they have for each other and ultimately rediscover at the end, that shit is completely foreign to me.
never even been close to that.
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Solution: Much less talking; tons more sex.
ReplyDeleteThe video is hilarious…and oddly sweet. I appreciate Klepper’s definition. I think we’ve all experienced the six months and then suddenly you have nothing more to say to one another…like to the point where you wonder how it could possibly work any other way. I know I did…and then I met my husband, with his wicked wit and brilliant quirky mind and all these years later I can’t imagine not wanting to share every joke and hear every serious thought. Of course, I think that Kent has an important relationship philosophy going on there too, one couples should note and embrace as often as possible.
ReplyDeleteBut there’s nothing inhuman about not experiencing the lasting long term relationship kind of love, nor about not really wanting it. As you say, you love your family. From reading your writing, it appears that you love your friends and loved in the short term or at least cared for the women in your life. Unless you have a secret apartment full of bodies somewhere, I would say sociopath is unlikely.
just checked, whew. no bodies. so i think i'm good.
ReplyDeletewhile i agree with your assessment, blithescribe, i don't think society has come to terms with that. people like me are viewed to be weird. and i get tired of that sometimes.
Zelig - Oh, well that's an entirely different question. Society says why haven't you found some nice girl and pumped 2.5 kids out into the world already? I mean seriously, the clock's tickin'. You should already be contemplating divorce number two by now while dulling the pain of chronic unfulfillment with conspicuous consumption and reality TV, and overindulging the every whim of those 2.5 kids out of guilt until they are spoiled, vapid monsters.
ReplyDeleteSociety is like the really good looking but low IQ casual bully in school. Shallow and judgemental. Inexplicably popular and very difficult to ignore 100% of the time. How ever could you find that tiring? ;)
haha. guess i just gotta get over it. there's really no other way, other than conceding, and i ain't gonna do that.
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