The truth about lightsabers

to be completely honest, i have thought about this scenario. more than once.

many times, in fact.

in college, in anticipation of episode one coming to the big screen, my nerdy college buddies and i all stocked up on lightsaber weaponry. during our many battles, i was nicked, scraped and sometimes full on bloodied with those fluorescent plastic tubes.


i wouldn't have lasted more than a few minutes. just turning the damn thing on would be a hazard. (though not as much of a suicide-inducing hazard as actually watching episode one).

(pie chart via skull swap)

(lightsaber duel image via my real life scrapbook. yes, that's a 12 years younger me squatting, going for the KILL)


  1. This is awesome! Thank you for the laugh and the memories! We did similar things at Oxy in anticipation of the re-release of the original, and sadly "enhanced", triology (Damn you, George Lucas, Han shot first!!) with foam wrapped bamboo. You could hit a lot harder and it hurt more than the plastic lightsabers, but with less damage. No blood. No flimsy broken plastic. My hit and kill counts were always high, but if they were real, I would have had a robotic left arm and lower leg in continual need of repair and replacement, ha ha.

  2. I think the "save the galaxy" part is exaggerated. Until warp drive/hyperdrive/wormhole travel is invented, I doubt your influence (good or bad) would go beyond your home planet.

    As for the other parts... not so sure. I think I'd be too scared of the thing to immediately kill or dismember myself. I don't know enough people who "need killin" to become a ruthless killer. But, depending on the bid, I might sell it to the highest bidder. That bid would have to be mighty high, though. Cuz I'd value a real, operational lightsaber very, very highly.

  3. if i could stop myself from playing with it long enough to save my life, i might consider selling it too.

    and blithescribe, i think the best part about those plastic ones was the accompanying sound effects. my mouth could only handle so much buzzing and whirring before it would break down.

  4. Yeah, we just didn't make noises because _that_ would have been silly.

    ...As opposed to running around Stewie Beach in front of the dorms rolling, diving and hacking at one another with foam wrapped bamboo. _That_ wasn't silly at all, just awesome. ;)

  5. Jeff, the kids and I have similar battles. We're always getting new lightsabers, as we over-use/destroy/wear-out the other ones. Summer is a lot of fun with battles in the dark. The force is strong with my youngest, and you should really wear a cup while fighting him.

    As for Episode I....train wreck....I bought how the Force was described in A New Hope by Obi-Won when I was little. That's all I needed to know. In EpI Lucas turned it into VD. Nice.