so i'm playin' cards with my grandma and two of my 80-something great aunts and one of 'em doesn't like that i won a big hand so she calls me an "ornery varmint", which cracked me up. then, just like a kid who likes attention in the form of laughter, she continued to call me a varmint for the rest of the session, knowing it would draw cackles galore and she was right, 'cuz every time laughter ensued.
finally, i ask: "what exactly is a varmint?"
"it's a rat!"
"no, it's a rodent"
"i think it means troublemaker"
a fucking dictionary.
and there, together, we all skimmed the dictionary looking for the answer.
an irritating or obnoxious person or animal
sounds about right.