I forgot about these

so i'm playin' cards with my grandma and two of my 80-something great aunts and one of 'em doesn't like that i won a big hand so she calls me an "ornery varmint", which cracked me up. then, just like a kid who likes attention in the form of laughter, she continued to call me a varmint for the rest of the session, knowing it would draw cackles galore and she was right, 'cuz every time laughter ensued.

finally, i ask: "what exactly is a varmint?"

"it's a rat!"

"no, it's a rodent"

"i think it means troublemaker"

and then, my grandma leaves the room, comes back in a hurry, and in her hands is something i haven't seen in years:

a fucking dictionary.

and there, together, we all skimmed the dictionary looking for the answer.

an irritating or obnoxious person or animal

sounds about right.

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