sometimes when i sit and stare at nothing, i see myself as completely alone.

this is something i learned i could do through my attempts to understand meditation many years back. i never understood or 'got' the meditation shit, but i learned how to freak the fuck out of myself by going into these deep, dark mental trances.

being alone, completely and absolutely alone, physically, mentally, whatevs... it can be the most terrifying experience. believe me.

i understand why people want to believe in an invisible sky daddy who's there to carry them, to nurture them.

but life ain't that fucking easy.

one's gotta learn how to stand up, face and fight one's fears.

it's the only way.

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