Random cougar sex fail

on tuesday i went to my urologist in the gold coast to have a cystoscopy done. if you don't know what that is it's when the doc takes one of those medieval torture devices and rams it up your dick through your pee-hole... (sorry, don't know how else to explain it) ... and let me tell ya, it's the weirdest fucking thing i've ever felt (while not drunk).

anyway, i walk out feeling like i have razor blades jammed up in there, each one scratchin' and scrapin' more than the next and i just barely limp to the bus stop outside the doctor's office.

then outta nowhere, as if to pounce like the rich doctor's wife she probably is, this cougar comes up to me and starts chattin' me up. givin' me the "eyes", the winks, the lip-licking... full court press. (i've seen this tactic used before at bars but this was a fucking bus stop and it was 3 in the afternoon so i was caught a bit off my game.)

on any other day -- and i do mean ON ANY OTHER FUCKING DAY IN THE HISTORY OF TIME, MY LIFE, YADDA YADDA -- i'd totally dip off into one of those fancy brownstones where she probably lives and live a little myself, walk away from it feelin' good and that'd be the end of it.

but on this day i feel like i've got A BAZILLION GINSUS PLAYING CHOPSTICKS ON MY SHAFT and the slightest hint of feeling down there just made it worse so...

i had to bail.

i know. i'm sad too.

do i regret it?

no. i regret having razor blades jammed up my dick. that's what i regret.

that and not asking the cougar if she had a daughter.