Jesus cat is just as reasonable as jesus christ, or mohammed or whatevs

so true in fact this cat was born of a virgin cat in a cave around the winter solstice and before he was born this big ass star in the sky heralded his birth and all these kings and sheperds gave him catnip and scratching posts and then he disappeared for thirty years then came back and no one asked where the fuck he'd been cuz he supposedly started walking on water and shit and then all these other cats started following him around and then the dogs found out about it and were pissed and convinced some of the cats he should be dealt with and they agreed so they killed this king of the cats on a cross then the cat came back three days later and everyone shit themselves and then he went back up into the sky to be with sky god cat and then everyone forgot about it all together until some idiot cat named saul cat changed his name to paul cat cuz sky god cat talked to him and then he told everyone about how awesome this jesus cat was and then a whole bunch of contradicting stories were written down by mark cat matthew cat luke cat and john cat and they were all very similar to the hero stories of the frogs and rats and dogs and cows

and bats and a bazillion others but no reasonable person was allowed to question the bogus nature of this jesus cat so we're just kinda waitin' around for the jesus cats and muslim cats who are a whole other story to blow each other up with cat bombs and shit

like

that