Let's cut the amish fantasy crap

there seems to be a romanticized image of what the amish are and what they represent. and as someone who often needs to disconnect from the technocracy that rules modern living, i totally understand why people would project such a romantic view on a society that eschews technology.

but let us not forget who the amish actually are: they're uber conservative christians (read: DELUSIONOIDS).

i grew up around the amish, so i know firsthand how fucking backwards their society is. if you wanna know the truth about amish living, consider the fact that women are treated as sub-human. the man rules the roost, often with a quick hand. premarital sex is HIGHLY taboo -- CONDEMNED even. and the fucking church is constantly watching over you... meaning that the elders dictate what you can do in the bedroom and what you can do... anywhere really, including the condemnation of... music. WTF!?!?

if anything, amish communities are great examples of anti-tech dystopian slave camps.

they often regard themselves as moral paragons who thrive while cast away from the sea of sin, but let me remind yee holy amish folks: dictating how one lives, down to the very last detail based on bullshit fairytales, while being racist and sexist, and then SHUNNING people who do not follow your path is not the sort of moral high-ground i wanna stand on.

it's fucking sick. it's fucking twisted. and it's fucking childish.


  1. Yeah, but I say the same about Beliebers.

    What about Rumspringa? Don't tell me they're not getting fries with that shake during Rumspringa.

    ps. Wait a minute, does this mean I was Amish during most of high school?...

  2. Just you wait til some Amish dude finds this post on Google. They'll go primitive on your butt... Oh, wait.

  3. adam -- yes, you are amish. by the way, you need to grow a beard. god sez so (no mustachy thingy though cuz flavor savers are for heathens).
    kent -- i almost got worried... then i realized... zing!

  4. I did enjoy the movie 'Witness', though. Basically because I'd watch anything with Han Solo in it when I was a kid.

  5. i'm with ya, michael. solo buried it with that funny hat and that funny amish gal ;-)

  6. Hold up a sec, no premarital sex, no music and I have to be subservient to a man???? They really aren't trying very hard to make this shit appealing.

  7. nope. anyone with a working brain would find it unappealing... but the amish do a good job of brainwashing and hiding reality from their own people.