What my sister's birth taught me about algebra

one of my younger sisters is graduating soon, and it has me thinking... a lot... specifically, about the day she was born.

i was 13 years old. a cocky, know-it-all, skin and bones dork of a kid. and i had a crush on my algebra teacher.

she was smokin' hot. brunette, petite, smiled a lot. i'd sit and stare and stare and stare at her the entire hour.

so when she put her hand on my shoulder, leaned down and looked me straight in the eye to tell me my little sister had just been born, i didn't even hear her. i was wondering if my hard-on could possibly get any bigger... or, if she'd notice.

i'm not sure my sister would really appreciate knowing that the heralding of her existence to me is tied into my adolescent fantasy sexcapades... but fuck, that's how life is, y'know.

besides, all the kids... they're all fuckin' themselves these days, so i ain't sweatin' it.