8.31.2010

Think about it.

think about how much we could accomplish if religious folks would just use the time they spend praying to actually do something proactive.

think about it.

think about how much we could fucking get done around the world.

Introducing... water stains that don't look like religious icons

it's a new fav of mine...

they gotz all these cool pics of non-religious looking water stains.



the above is featured with the following text:

...and when there was just one set of footprints, I was carrying you my son. And then when it was just one foot print, that is when I was carrying you and hopping on one foot.

so true, man. so fucking true. jesus was hoppin' on one foot.

duh.

8.30.2010

Solarity's terminal 6 = boner city



communitas.

joy.

harmony.

unfettered love for all things just because... reaching out. feeling.

it's funny what thoughts can be felt through melody.

Never stop asking, never stop learning

part of what makes the human race the superior race is our ability to think, critically. to ask questions. to sift through bullshit. to keep asking WHY, WHY, WHY.

and that is WHY the mental stagnation of those who "believe" in christian/hindu/islamic/jewish/buddhist/whatevs thoughts absolutely baffle me. if those same people had been in charge of disease prevention instead of people like louis pasteur, we'd all be fucked up, STILL.

with questions comes knowledge; with knowledge comes responsibility.

the religious fucksacks intent on destroying the progression of human thought are succeeding. we're being sucked backwards in time as society considers it polite to let them have a free pass, to never question their outlandish worldviews...

if only other discourses suffered similar retrogression, perhaps they would see the IDIOCY of their ways and just...

fucking...

STOP.

8.28.2010

Slayer slayin'


this song might sound chaotic. it is. sorta.

but its lyrics suggest reason over religion.

the religious call this music "satanic".

that is fucking bullshit. but slayer will let you think they are satanic. 'cuz it sells units.

what it actually is is reason. non-belief in bullshit. the logical, free-thinking world.

sometimes when i run i play this album on high and run hard as hell. i'm running hard because i feel like at any minute the religious are gonna blow everything up.

Another random pull from the archives of time...

oh now this is gettin' fun.

sometimes i forget who i was back in the day. goin' through old shit always makes me feel better -- about how much i've learned, grown, got into fucking trouble.

oh gee.

the following is the last paragraph of a paper i wrote in a senior seminar religion class in college. i remember, i was just barely holding onto the idea that religion might have its place in this world, that there was still a chance... i hadn't fully begun thinking for myself yet or worked free from belief's bruising constraints:     

religion entails a continuous process of growth, both in mind and body; one cannot be stagnant.  The way we grow is by understanding the myths and rituals that relate to a certain belief and figuring out their significance to our own lives.  This is something that cannot be forced, rather it must be an independent act of choice.   Once cultivated, religion then successfully serves the purpose as spiritual guide to our chaotic, worldly lives.    

in other words...

i was still a fucking drone idiot.

glad i saw the PROVERBIAL light.      

8.27.2010

Another goddamn max cavalera hit!



the first minute and eight seconds of this song might be the best minute and eight seconds in metal. period.

the rest doesn't really hold up to that honor. at all.

but that first minute and eight seconds makes it worth it.

:-)

My fifth year of life summed up in one picture

characters from my first obsession hanging out with a character from my second obsession. if i were five years old and saw this picture imagine i'd be quite ready to die.

(image via skull swap)

8.26.2010

"Love ya in christ!!!" ???WTF???

i have this aunt. she's very nice. but she is very ignorant.

she has, ever since i left the church,  badgered me about jesus.

to no end.

then she stopped. and she didn't say anything about it. she made me like her more.

then she dropped jesus on me. wrote me a REAL preachy letter and signed it with her usual "love ya in christ!"

excuse me, aunt... why can't YA love me just as yourself? why does christ or jesus or whoevs have to be involved with your natural feelings?

that shit is weak.

so stop that shit.

8.25.2010

New atheism ad campaign 4

oh lexi.

my oh my.

what have you and i... what have we gotten ourselves into?

(spread the word!)

8.24.2010

I guess once a star wars kid...


...always a star wars kid.

fuck.

Fuck yeah quote

understatement of a lifetime?

yes.

probably so.

the following equation is true:

destiny = stupid = religion

!

8.23.2010

Funny or not funny?


she thinks it's hilarious.

i think it hurts.

:-)

The week after next, on the "jesus shore"...

...jesus has enough of snooki's shit so he donkey punches her in the eye...

...what...

...it could happen...

really.

8.22.2010

It starts when you're little

just like anything else, kids learn young. and if you never teach them, chances are they'll never learn... or, it will be extremely difficult for them to changer their ways.

i have brought this truth up on many an occasion in regards to religious dogma and fantastical bullshit thrown on kids at an early age, killing their freedom to think for themselves. but let us not forget that it's valid in other arenas as well.

like health. nutrition. food.

i was never taught anything about food. probably because my parents weren't taught anything about it either because their parents weren't taught anything about it. y'see how this works?

and sure, that was fine and dandy back in my grandparents' day, where the kids were out working the farm, doing housework, chores, being physically active and burning calories all the time. but now, in our sedentary lives filled with t.v. and processed foods that didn't even exist 50 years ago, shit is goin' down and people are gettin' big.

and it ain't healthy.

like religion, obesity has negatively affected my family in a major way... and just like religion, it's hard for me to sit back and keep my mouth shut about it.

starving yourself doesn't work. sure, you will lose a few pounds in the short run, but you will gain it back once you stop starving yourself. there's only one way to lose weight and that is by finding the correct balance of caloric intake versus physical activity.

assuming you're eating good foods (not junk), then the more you exercise, the more you can eat. why doesn't anyone ever market that as a diet incentive?

(image via ihmp)

8.21.2010

Moments where i might say "give me a ten inch dick" for $200, alex

(via smbc)

The giant talking vagina

this has inspired me to write my own giant talking vagina mythology.

i will then go town to town, spreading the word of the magnificently omnipotent pussy. i will write a book inspired by the words of the lady labia of our holy vulva.

i will make a lot of money.

(image via skull swap)

8.19.2010

You know wha' he deed?

thanks, c

he was injured.

injured bad.

8.18.2010

If i ruled the world...

... i'd make it ILLEGAL for idiots like those at christwire.org to have any say in the development of our race, earth, universe.

seriously.

leave it to a bunch of sheltered, narrow-minded, uneducated FOOLS to lambaste a man for the types of characters (yes, made up, make-believe, NON-REALITY-LIVING characters) he played... a man who is about as relevant in modern day pop culture as charlie chaplin... a man who... ah, shit. nevermind.

they're immune to intelligence.

allergic to logic.

or, just plain, stupid.

- - -

thanks to A for the link.

also, still not sure if christwire.org is satire or not. been wondering out loud for a quite a while now. i wouldn't be suprised if indeed it is real.

8.17.2010

Does kirk cameron realize how much of a joke he really is?

embarrassing doesn't even come close to describing what this former teen heartthrob has become.

i mean, talk about some disturbing shit. these people are praying in circles before they do any work. i wonder if all that praying is what makes this movie possibly the most UNINTERESTING movie in the history of the universe.

seriously, i wouldn't force such torture on my worst enemy.

Sex song

lately i've been thinking about sex a lot (i'm a dude, duh) and whenever i get into that mindset i hear paul oakenfold's 'speed' looping through my conscious. it won't go away.

it's like, that song IS sex to me. it's the soundtrack of my sexual worldview. it's an audio mind fuck... the roughest kind, and the most gentle kind.

seriously.

8.16.2010

Usher bieberfied = kill me

how could my r&b man-crush murder my proverbial soul (cuz let's face it, the most logical conclusion upon death is that we're just... dead, nothing else)?

by finding justin bieber.

bleh.

(thanks to C for the image... sorta)

The faith tones...

...also known as...
...the ERECTION DESTROYERS ...

8.15.2010

If only the world was made of sam harris(es)

my libertarian advisor passed these vid links to me some time ago.

they are brilliant.

and they are exactly the sort of thing we need to spread around.

so spread it around yo.

8.14.2010

8.13.2010

Do you know who this is?

if you said martha stewart...

you're right.

and if you're like me, you're probably feelin' a bit icky for that boner you just got.

lookout!

(thanks to C for the pic)

Next week, on the "jesus shore"...

... jesus handles the "situation" by turning water into wine...

...fucking A...

really.

8.12.2010

Jesus all in yer ear and shit


do christians realize that their entire belief system rests on top of a wobbly oxymoron? funny how that peaceful, loving, accepting, forgiving jesus representation of 'god' will FUCKING DAMN YOU TO ETERNAL SUFFERING so easily, so quickly.

how in the world does that even make sense?

am i supposed to believe in the make-believe because jesus loves me so much or so i don't burn eternally in some fantastic fire land?

they never really address that.

but i know one thing: if it's both then it cancels itself out so in reality it's not actually there.

HUZZAH!

8.11.2010

You can't ctrl-s

one thing that gets me scratching my head a lot is the question WHY do religious folks feel the need to control everyone around them.

you MUST take jesus christ as your lord and savior.

you MUST stop and pray five times a day towards the direction of mecca.

you MUST give invisible sky daddy 10% of your fucking income.

as a human being there is only ONE person i can control. one. and that's me. myself. i can control me. you can control you. he can control himself.

that's it.

and we're not talking about policing ourselves, we're talking about beliefs. so don't give me that bullshit argument please.

stay out of my fucking business, stay out of my fucking bedroom, stay out of my fucking checkbook.

forever.

(image via 9GAG)

8.10.2010

Divided we fail

well, i went to a wedding last weekend. it was a real... happy(?) affair?

sure, it was sweet and all... some romeo (he, the jew) and juliet (she, the WELS lutheran), falling in love... being happy... except that her family -- her parents more devastatingly -- has shun her from their lives.

she's absolutely dead to them.

so they weren't even there.

what would jesus do again?

GET YOUR FUCKING STORIES STRAIGHT, YOU BACKWARDS ASS  BRONZE AGE SHIT STORM WRATHFUL FUCKING FOOLS, you can't all be right.

you're missing out on the good things in life.

This week, on "jesus shore"...

thomas doubts jesus is really that tan.

really.

8.09.2010

Stealing mac-n-cheese from a kid

for as long as i can remember i've doubted my capabilities as a parent.  i'm not a parent, so that's okay... but I still think about it: how my selfish lifestyle would make parenting difficult, how much i dislike diapers, how just the faintest scent of vomit makes me wanna die.

then i was watching t.v. one day and realized that people like me can be parents too:

in that mom's defense, she put the mac-n-cheese on the table.  she should be able to eat as much of it as she wants.

BAM!

fucking tease lbd barbie

uh... yeah.
i took the above photo in the girls' toy section at target. FUCKING TARGET.

this is ALSO part of what's wrong with 'merica folks... the whole world even.

i don't wanna get all what-would-jesus-do-on-your-ass, but let's think about what we're telling young women about how to be a success.

let's getting a fucking grip, 'merica.

get a FUCKING grip.

8.08.2010

They aren't just full of shit... they are shit...


... of course, not because they're gay (i mean, if you're gay, you're gay, what the fuck are you supposed to do?)...

... but because they're priests. and according to the catholic church, they shouldn't be fucking... anything.

but they are!

dudes are fuckin' dudes! and gettin' caught! in ITALY!

what would jesus do? that's what i wanna know.

cosi molto bene!

huzzah!

!!!

8.06.2010

New atheism ad campaign 3

don't hate me for the tactics i've chosen. i want this to work.

so it'll fucking work.

believe me.

One of these signs is not like the other

8.05.2010

I found my new favorite drug and it fucking rocks

you're gonna start hearing me talk about running every now and then. it's on my mind a lot.

i took this picture from the top of the el tracks at adams & wabash, right after mile five of the rock & roll half marathon.
i fucking love this picture.

and i took it!

:-)

8.04.2010

Trying to figure out kafka

okay. part of me thinks i 'get it'. all of the crazy shit that franz kafka says in his "zurau aphorisms", yeah... i get it.

but do i?

i think i'd be pretty naive to think there's only one interpretation.

here's a fav of mine:

The German word sein signifies both "to be there" and "to belong to Him."

'cuz if you're there, you belong to him. ahem, your Him.

whatevs.

it's bullshit.

and kafka knew it. that's why he wrote it down. not 'cuz he got it then feared it.

that would ruin my whole perception of knowing... everything.

8.03.2010

I thought i saw this on voltron once...

i'm convinced i did. for like, five frames or so. i was a kid. it changed me forever.

it's too crazy for me to have simply made up.

right?

(via hwcbn)

Chicago and thy lines, oh how i love thee

here's me gettin' cute with my droid cam... this time from the tracks above adams & wabash, chitown, u.s.a.:
(click for full size)

fuckin' rad, eh?

i know.

chicago's lines are as sexy as they are uniform.

:-)

8.02.2010

New athesim ad campaign 2

here's more from my revolutionizing pro-atheism ad campaign.

"Saudi man chains his son in the basement for six years because he is 'possessed by an evil female genie'"

sorry, but YOU try reading this article and not scratching your head so hard that your fingernail starts to touch bone.

really.

this is a fucking joke right?

dude, this is so the right time to bring back a masterpiece of art, created by me, zelig skykiller, which tests the patience of muslims the world over for its ruthless (and probably accurate) depiction of the holy fucking prophet muhammad:

8.01.2010

All kinds of awful

this chinese guy, from china, has a lot of money, and a decent collection of ming and qing bronze incense burners, pretty good stuff.

publishes his collection.

like everyone else in china, refuses to get anyone who actually speaks english to review the english translations, and in the end we find ourselves with a great big giant fucking mess.

like this.

(click to enlarge)

must be all the fucking INCENTS.