Do we even really know noah?

so, in the bible... particularly in genesis... we get to know this fella named noah.

you know noah. he built a boat and put one pair of every fucking living thing on the face of the planet (uh... yeah, right) on this boat. crammed at least two of every fucking living creature on the ENTIRE GLOBE in this dinky boat.

and that's not even the craziest shit.

because noah also sired three kids. when he was 500 years old (gen 5:32). three kids. in one year. his wife? for all we know he had just one... but she's never named in the bible.

AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE BE? SHE'S A FUCKING WOMAN? THEY ONLY GAINED THE RIGHT TO FUCKING VOTE IN THIS COUNTRY 90 FUCKING YEARS AGO (even though woodrow wilson* vehemently opposed it)!!!!!!!!!!

the bible is a fucking shitpile of rubbish. every time i see one my faith in the human mind's ability to progress takes a hit. how many more hits must it take?

FUCK!

*tangent: i once dated a girl who had a huge crush on woodrow wilson. yeah. woodrow wilson. when i went to the smithsonian, she made me take pictures of all the woodrow wilson shit. woodrow fucking wilson made her horny. gee, i wonder why that relationship didn't work out...