Let them have (stormtrooper) cake

click *HERE* to see this fabulous creation.

ps, i wanna marry that girl.

Not so subtle christmas wish

goddamn it all i've ever wanted in my whole life is a real, genuine stormtrooper costume!!! is that too much to ask for!?!?!?!?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Grocery shopping!!!

okay. that's it. i have to get one of these costumes. i'm tired of watching everybody else have all the fun.

Chewbaccadawg

been wanting to get a dog for the longest time. almost took my sister's (she had to get rid of it), but the thought of it being home alone all day with no one to take it out keeps holding me back.

it sucks.

i love dogs. i feel like i really need a friend right now in the way that only dogs know how to be friends.

if only i could find one like this chewbaccadawg, one who can copilot a spaceship and kill fucking stormtroopers.

A good stormtrooper never sleeps

some things in life just can't be taken for granted*, like having peace and quiet while serving as an imperial stormtrooper.

*other things include but are not limited to: new atheism ad campaigns, baseball and fucking apple pie.

Core work is essential for a hopeful stormtrooper

also, one of the benefits of working out with fellow stormtroopers is that we all look alike under those helmets.

no one will judge you for how out of shape you may have gotten.

you might get blasted, and subsequently die... but, no judging.

promise!

Even empire babies are cute

this child had no choice. it was born into the empire. it's a part of the empire. it will die for the empire.

it will probably grow up serving the sith, wreaking havoc, killing rebels (or at least thinking that killing rebels is okay, necessary, etc).

sound familiar?

uh.......

yah.

Miss you, grandma

one of my sweetest childhood memories almost killed me.

i was at my grandma's house, where i could get away with anything. she was out in the garden and i was on the front porch, playing with my star wars guys. i was about eleven or twelve years old.

it came time for there to be a ritual sacrifice among my star wars guys, so i doused one with grandma's aquanet (something i'd picked up from the bullies at school) then set him atop an empty mt. dew can... and struck a match... and llet him burn!!!!

and burn... *cough*

*cough-cough-cough* and... *cough*...

...burn and *cough-cough*... and...

i was suffocating on the fumes when --

grandma opened the front porch door and said:

"whadya doin' in here?"

"burnin' my star wars guys"

"oh. okay."

Goddamnit! more badass stormtroopin!

is it me or have the internets been ablaze with badass muthafuckin' stormtrooper pics lately?!?

they're everywhere!!!

i think someone needs to start photoshoppin' stormtroopers into biblical story scenes.

haha. stormtrooper moses talkin' to burning bush. haha.

if that happens i would just shit.

(image via skull swap)

Fuck yeah stormtroopers on animals!

when i see awesome shit like this i can't help but think: "why didn't i think of that?!? fuck!!!"

(image via skull swap)

Sometimes i'm still just a star wars dork

one of my favorite pastimes is trawling the interwebs looking for cool stuff and somehow today i stumbled upon these:

here's the website where i found them. i'd pay a good amount of money for that stormtrooper portrait to be enlarged and framed and hung above my mantle...

...if i had a mantle...

...or a fireplace.

I stole the delorean and snapped these pics of myself

 

  

  

  

  

badass, eh?

yep.

Stormtrooper sex leads to stormtrooper babies leads to stormtrooper moments like this one