Still tasting the rainbow

knee high rainbow socks make me as horny as a twenty-horned toad! i don't know why. maybe it harkens back to my ecstasy-laden candy-ravin' youth. not sure. but sometimes i will do a google search like this and then just salivate over the results.

i'm sure there's a fetish club for this rainbow sock lovin' addiction i got.

right?

Thinking in the nearer future

a recent goal of mine has been to cash in on my innate need for sleep. for the last year or so, i've actually been thinking about sleep, not just doing it when i have to, but really, seriously thinking about it. and, reasonably speaking, i try to get as much of it as possible.

i know that it is my body's primary response to the vigorous training i've been putting it through (the running, the boxing), but a fine byproduct of always being well rested is a sort of calm about the future that i've never really had before. i feel less stressed out. i feel more grounded in reality.

this is not to say i don't have the usual anxieties anymore (i do) but it is to say that with the extra rest comes what seems like an extra dose of chill-out-edness.

and that's fucking cool, man.

(image via skull swap)

Waking up from the dream

there is a certain worldview that is instilled in the hearts of young americans from birth. it is that you can be whatever you want to be. it is that you are entitled because you live in the greatest country in the world. it is that you deserve respect no matter what because of your origin of birth and anyone who tries to get in the way is evil. it is that you are the keeper of the castle. it is that you are special. it is that your country will always look out for you. it is that famine, war and disaster will never touch you as long as you are on american soil.

and all of the above is GODDAMNNED FUCKING LIE.

WAKE UP!

it took me 32 years to see the truth: that my government doesn't give two shits about me, that all it cares about is MONEY MONEY MONEY and POWER POWER POWER and that it would just assume tax my ass to death and send my brothers and sisters off to die for no reason other than to fatten uncle sam's pocketbooks, that the politicians can't and won't take care of me, that i'm on my own.

and i'm trapped by the boundaries of my own social class.

the american fucking dream is just that: a dream.

not reality.

the sooner we deal with that, as a people, the better.

The mysterious and the not-so-mysterious dreams

i have some pretty common recurring dreams: threesomes, flying, getting arrested...

i have had them so often that i expect them now. they're not surprising and they don't illicit any special feelings and/or reactions anymore.

but the last few days have left me drained (in a good way) as i've been dreaming about running.

due to my injury, i haven't been able to run for well over a month now and it's really taking a toll on my mental stability. but when i woke up from a recent running dream i felt... good. i felt refreshed, as if i'd really gone out and logged 20 miles in the forest. not only that, but in my dream i was running faster than i ever have in real life, with infinite power and stamina!!!

WOW!!!!!!!!!

i wish i knew more about dreams... what they actually are, where they come from, any possible healing attributes...

our minds are so fucking complex.

(image via skull swap)

Never fucking give up

i was speaking with a good friend of mine recently and we came to a pretty important consensus when it comes to chasing dreams.

he's an actor in hollyweird... tryin' to "make it" in his craft, attempting to, at the very least, support himself doing the one thing in life he loves over anything else.

as a writer aspiring to write for a living, i totally understand. in fact, his quest is equivalent to mine, equivalent to those of my myriad musician friends. we're all pursuing our passions, despite what the odds (and often our contemporaries) say.

a simple stroll through your neighborhood bookstore will reveal thousands of bad, bad, BAD writers making a living doing what they love to do. likewise, there are tons of bad actors getting work (including 100% of those who perform on the WB network) and lots of bad musicians are out there reveling in success.

if we give up, we will never join their ranks, never outshine their inadequacies.

so, never fucking give up.

it's that simple.

Dreamtastic

lately i've been having very vivid, surreal dreams. when it comes to dreams, i usually go through phases where i have a lot of them and i remember them down to the most intriguingly fantastic detail... to not having them at all.

in some cases i can pinpoint the cause, but lately, i cannot.

but it's fun going to bed knowing that any-fucking-thing is possible. like a fish puking a tiger puking a tiger chasing a gun pointing at a naked chick.

that's how i prefer to live.

Huzzah! someone convinced courtney cox (my secret luvah) to fucking eat a sandwich!

believe me... i've been waitin' a long time for courtney to get hot again. now that she's resumed attention to sustenance, i feel like all i need to do to find success is convince her that my obsession with her is totally done out of respect...

Even empire babies are cute

this child had no choice. it was born into the empire. it's a part of the empire. it will die for the empire.

it will probably grow up serving the sith, wreaking havoc, killing rebels (or at least thinking that killing rebels is okay, necessary, etc).

sound familiar?

uh.......

yah.

Melatonin side effects

for the last month, i've been tryin' to cut back on my old sleeping aids (steve green, wine, benadryl) in favor of something more healthy; so, naturally, melatonin answered the bell again.

after some extended, exclusive use of melatonin, i am experiencing the following side effects:

1. an extended tolerance for religious delusionoids

(i recently spent an entire weekend surrounded by them and didn't open my mouth in defiance ONCE. i was being a polite guest, of course, but still)

2. an enlightened, invigorated spark first thing in the morning

(sleeping so well for so long has taken my morning-person persona and kicked it up a notch. this is a good thing)

3. an abundance of vivid, detailed, EXTREMELY realistic dreams revolving around my ex-girlfriend

(the other day i woke up in the middle of the night clutching a pillow i believed to be her; when i realized it wasn't her i picked up my phone and almost called her to ask "where are you?"... i can't believe how real it was. so, so real)

4. an increase in mid-day erections

(this speaks for itself i believe)

5. an overall increase in perceived health

so, yeah, if i were a doctor i'd recommend it to all my patients. though, a good mix of steve green every once in a while wouldn't hurt either.

;-)