If you don't listen to slayer...

i'm a slayer fan. it's no secret. i've raved about my lust for them here before.

but i am not the average slayer fan. i mean, i do not have long hair. i do not hate people or things as a way to say 'fuck the world'. i do not live with my parents.

but i love music of all genres, and when it comes to thrash metal, it's just really hard to beat slayer. i got in an argument with a buddy once on who was better: slayer or pantera?

i love pantera. but... sorry, they can't touch this slayer shit.

IT'S RAINING BLOOD MUTHAFUCKA!!!

(image via skull swap)

Um, i don't recall asking for an erection killer

how dare those bastards!?! i don't care what point they're trying to make, they took my beautiful, beautiful bride (to be) and pissed all over her.

THEY WILL RUE THE DAY!!!

ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(click to enlarge)

Rise

my childhood infatuation with star wars was rivaled only by my obsessions with baseball and... the planet of the apes film franchise.

that's right. i was an ape fanatic.

so you can understand why i was disappointed when tim burton mucked it up a few years back (WHY DO THEY KEEP REMAKING MOVIES THAT WERE AWESOME TO BEGIN WITH????).

but now... this... this is coming and this...

this looks BAD ASS!

Ready to try anything?

try dating a dead person. that's something i have yet to do.

probably gonna keep it that way.

i said probably.

(image via skull swap)

Jesus on par with satan who's on par with a fucking zebra

of course it is. and of course the zebra means about as much to a child as the figurative "satan"... or the highly embellished "jesus".

kids are kids.

they don't know any better. but they listen to mom and dad and elders cuz that's what they're hardwired to do, much like bees are hardwired to make honey for the queen, why lindsay lohan is hardwired to embarrass herself and her family ad nauseum.

LEAVE OUR CHILDREN ALONE, DELUSIONOIDS!

let them gather the evidence then make their own decisions.

i feel like broken fucking record some days.

(image via ihmp)

Pourin' some liquour out for the fallen

today marks the 22nd anniversary of the tiananmen square massacre.

and as much as the still stoic communist regime would like the world to believe this event never actually happened, let me assure you: IT FUCKING HAPPENED.

when i lived in china i was sorta ornery in that i often prompted folks to talk to me about taboo subjects like tiananmen. i was careful to only do so if the participant was willing, and i met LOTS of folks who described those days back in '89 with lots of heart and lots of tears.

it was a fucking disgrace what the government did to those people.

never forget.

never fucking forget.

A perfect way to end this day...

GAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHAAAAHHHHH!!!

Doesn't matter how many times i see this meme...

...my answer is ALWAYS the SAME:

ALLTHEFRACKINGTIMEDUDE!

Remind me to never go to louisiana

there's really nothin' for me to go see down there anyway (maybe new orleans at some point, but since shaq left LSU, it's been pretty bleak), but remind me to never go to louisiana anyway.

here's why: the state government is seeing a resolution pass to get a ten commandments monument built... on CAPITOL GROUNDS.

seriously? a fucking TEN COMMANDMENTS monument? on STATE property? THIS is what fucking taxpayer money is going towards?

you asinine, delusionoid dimwits.

if you can't pull your head out of your collectively backwards ass, then you don't deserve my patronage... of anything.

more on this story from the friendly atheist... someone who i admire for being so calm in his disdain for the religious (read: the stupid).

Fucking up

i'm stubborn. no, seriously... like, really stubborn.

it's a family trait... passed down from alpha male to alpha male in my family. my dad is a mule... when he's made a decision (right or wrong) there's no budging from it. he cannot be budged.

my granddad (dead now) was even worse. at 135 pounds and full of booze, he was one of the feistiest men on the planet. a boxer who was always ready to fight, one did NOT want to cross him because he had no problem punching his way out of an argument. he was such a stickler for fighting (and small in stature) that he was nicknamed "skeeter" (as in "mosquito", an annoying blood-sucking insect that just wouldn't go the fuck away).

i like to think that i've broken the family tradition of always being right by being able to admit that i fuck up (from time to time ;-). and will probably continue to do so.

but, i do tend to sugarcoat it.

no one's perfect.

(image via skull swap)