This makes me happy about life

Killing each other over imaginary friends

israel is now warning jews in the united states that iran is targeting them in a series of possible attacks.

same fucking ignorant story.

my imaginary friend is bigger and better than your imaginary friend.

for those religious moderates who still say we should just allow everyone to believe whatever it is they want, and let them do whatever it is they want to do when it comes to praising invisible sky daddies because it's IMPOLITE to pass judgement on such delusional idiocy, i ask you, AGAIN, are you ready to die because of these rampant running looney tunes!?!?!?

instead of allowing this sort of bloodshed to flourish, we should be focusing on educating the masses and informing them exactly why their delusions are not only asinine, but more important: DEADLY.

we wouldn't let some crazy math teacher run around telling our kids that 2+2=5 just because some nonsensical old book his daddy's daddy's daddy wrote during the bronze age said so.

WAKE.

UP.

Stop pandering to morons, moron

oh boy. now president obama is invoking the "name of jesus" and using the "this is what jesus would do" argument for his policies. i understand that, given the delusional nature of this country, that he has to feign some sort of religious allegiance, but the man is smart, right? so he knows what he's saying is bullshit, right?

pandering to the lowest level of intelligence by the political elite all for votes to keep their job makes my stomach turn.

Halle-fucking-lujah, kid

I'm sorry. so, so sorry.

i didn't want to do it. in fact, i fought it. long and hard.

it was a present. i swear. from my dad.

and there it sat, for over a month, because i refused to acknowledge that the time had come.

after nearly a month, and several inquiries from my father as to what i thought, i decided it was finally time.

so i fired it up.

and just as i suspected, i fell in love. instantly.

i'm so sorry, lovely physical books taking up an entire room of my otherwise spacious apartment. i'm so, so sorry...

Srsly

can't i go into a walgreens without being reminded that i don't fit the status quo, that i haven't had a meaningful relationship that lasted more than 3 months in over a decade?

can't i just buy my ice packs and shoe inserts and dentyne arctic chill without all the "HEY LOSER, LOOK AT WHAT ALL THE COOL KIDZ IZ BUYIN!!!"?

srsly, why don't they sell dentyne artic chill by the pack? i always seem to have to buy them in bulk. that's bogus.

(image via skull swap)

Still tasting the rainbow

knee high rainbow socks make me as horny as a twenty-horned toad! i don't know why. maybe it harkens back to my ecstasy-laden candy-ravin' youth. not sure. but sometimes i will do a google search like this and then just salivate over the results.

i'm sure there's a fetish club for this rainbow sock lovin' addiction i got.

right?

More tea party jeebus

hm. not quite, tea party jeebus. not quite.

(via tpj)

The idiotverse

the worst part about being intelligent is that you are surrounded by idiots.

they're everywhere. literally EV. ERY. WHERE.

the other day we had a snow storm in chicago. it wasn't a ton of snow, just 5 inches, but it all came at once and caused some pretty gnarly carnage on the main streets. my commute home from work generally takes 10 minutes. on that day, it took AN HOUR and 10 minutes.

this was mostly because idiots occupied the streets. intersections blocked by idiots. angry drivers being cut off by idiots. wrecks being caused by idiots roaming the streets with no regard for THE FUCKING BAZILLION CARS TRYING TO NAVIGATE THE SNOWED IN STREETS.

sometimes all the idiocy around me leaves me with little hope. i feel like i have to retreat into the sanctuary of my own home/mind to avoid the fallout from the mass idiocy that has taken our world hostage.

whether it's eschewing the rules of the road during a white out, or touting the healing powers of an invisible sky daddy, my patience for idiocy is about as taxed and tattered as it could ever be.

30 versus 30,000

the older i get the more i seem to appreciate nature. i like exploring and sitting my ass down when i find something cool. a lot of times i wear my headphones and enjoy the ability to create unique soundtracks based on what i see.

but this...

BADASS!!!