Tell it

lately i've been finding myself increasingly angry at the complete stupidity of our society. in fact, i spend so much time being frustrated with the ignorant status quo, that i am fucking tired, man. i am so TIRED of trying to wake people up to the realities of modern day living that i just feel like crawling into a hole and disappearing for a while because shit seems to just get worse. crazytrains like santorum and delusional nitwits like the fat cats in congress continue to embarrass our species and it seems like they're only gaining momentum.

it's fucking scary.

D&E tells it straight.

Good news

despite the ever uphill battle against the delusional crazytrains hellbent on dictating how YOU should live, it's nice to know that occasionally people get it right.

congrats, washington. you did what everyone should do: let people marry who they wanna marry. period.

the only issue here is that it's just the 7th state of 50 to take action and that the majority of this bible-whipped country still has its head up its ass when it comes to basics like: LOGIC and REASON and MY BEDROOM IS NOT YOUR CONCERN, MUTHERFUCKER.

Reading sky daddy's invisible mind

one of the myriad ways xtrian delusionoids (and those of other religions as well) make me shake my head is their unwavering faith that they KNOW what "god" wants -- that they know what kind of god he is, how he'd react in certain situations, etc.

i find it particularly odd (and terrifying) that these freakshows say they KNOW this god so well, despite the fact that they still can't prove he exists and that their worldviews are based on poor bronze age storytelling.

if you KNOW god is such a supporter of women, why does his book repeatedly treat them like shit? like property? why does he make it okay for them to be ruled by their husbands and sons?

i simply don't understand how such a delusional lot can be so sure of its unfounded fantasyland other than to simply say: THEY'RE FUCKING CRAZY.

Stop pandering to morons, moron

oh boy. now president obama is invoking the "name of jesus" and using the "this is what jesus would do" argument for his policies. i understand that, given the delusional nature of this country, that he has to feign some sort of religious allegiance, but the man is smart, right? so he knows what he's saying is bullshit, right?

pandering to the lowest level of intelligence by the political elite all for votes to keep their job makes my stomach turn.

More tea party jeebus

hm. not quite, tea party jeebus. not quite.

(via tpj)

Now let seth mcfarlane say it...

USB jeebus

for your infected computer... when it needs to slow its roll and reflect on all that is good... let jeebus go to the cross for it and hope no evangelical viruses find their way into your machine.

ew. sounds dirty.

Happy xmas and all that shizz

no need for me to lay out my jaded position on how an historically suspect hippie's birth is reason enough to dictate what everyone should be doing on december 25, nor is it necessary for me to make clear just how much i despise the wicked religion of the masses. y'all know that.

i'm no delusionoid, but i do like the idea of having a specific time set aside exclusively for being with family and friends, giving each other gifts, reminding people that they matter and looking at cool lights while trudging through a foot of snow.

i ain't no bah-humbug, but for me -- and most of the learned folks of this earth -- i'd say that's a reasonable stab at what xmas really is anymore. well, that and the idea that it's a great way to sell shit that people don't need.

anyway, i'm gonna be with family this year. hopefully you're with people you like too.

also, i find beagles in santa hats to be quite irresistible.

HOLLA!!!

Kentuckiana: land of the deranged (yet polite!)

spent another weekend at my sister's in louisville recently. man, jeebus is alive and IN YER FACE down there. everywhere i looked was jesus this and jesus that and pray for this and pray for my gonorrhea to go away. and even the religious moderates (the worst of them all in my opinion for they don't challenge what they KNOW to be insane) seem to be okay with letting the delusionoids dictate ALL.

but everyone is so damn polite, so i guess there's that.

my sister and her fam are pretty cool about not shoving that shit down my throat, but they (much like most of the kentuckianans i've met) make sure it is known that THEY are believers and THEY will not back down, which, in a way, is just as judgmental and elitist without precedents as trying to convert me and tellin' me i'm goin' to hell.

i really like the area, but man it'd be tough getting used to all that crazy if i were ever to move there.

Oh please, save me the sob story

despite rick perry's delusional worldview, there is no obama war on religion. rather, just the government (crooked as they are) doing well to keep religion out of the affairs of the state -- LIKE THE FUCKING CONSTITUTION CLEARLY SAYS.

of course, you will have a hard time explaining this to a christian delusionoid, because essentially his/her brain operates at a base that assumes there's an invisible sky daddy up above who can hear his/her every thought.

and 'tis the season for said delusionoids to proclaim themselves as social martyrs, for them to fight back semantics and remind us that they won't allow the secular media to tarnish its precious lexicology.

of course, this must also mean that they're ready to give back the season and celebrations of the winter solstice, the original holiday celebrated on december 25th, the same one christianity tried to snuff out with their own brand of ridiculous.

How did jeebus not see that one comin!??!?

hilarabs.

of course, what i wanna see is jeebus eating his own body corpse.

!!!

(via smbc)

Nativity redux

if only the old, crotchety, racist, gay-hating, womanizing, uneducated imbeciles who wrote the fragments of essays and tall-tales that would eventually become the bible could've known how influential their imaginations would actually be...

now this is a nativity i could help bring to life.

**BELCH**

If you are willing to be disturbed...

...then PLEASE watch this scary-as-shit video. you'll quickly learn that the new hand of god is cool and hip (at least, i think that's what they were going for).

either way, this in the zone shit might scare the fuck out of you.

and yes, the participants are real.

(found at the museum of idolatry)

Then what about ghosts? huh?

i get this one a lot. since i'm such a staunch non-believer in god, i seem to get pummeled with the "then what about ghosts? huh?" line, as a last ditch effort to stop my "heresy" -- as if i should consider ghosts to be a truth even more than i would an invisible friend in the sky.

i don't know, what about ghosts? i've never seen one. never experienced one. never even known a person to claim to have had a real experience with one.

what is the hard science on ghosts?

that they don't exist.

the end.

This is a joke, right?

Meet the duggars (darwin edition)

at the end of the day, i still find the above family situation to be a bit more responsible than that of the real duggars... but then again, i also believe in things like logic, reason, etc.

(image via ihmp)

More hair-pulling insanity!!!

how do they do it?!?!? no, SERIOUSLY. how do these delusional jeebus-loving zombies get by with being so FUCKING STUPID!?!?

watch this, and try not to throw up:

snake oil. this motherfucker is selling bullshit, just like the rest of them. and it blows me away that idiots are lining up to try this sort of wishful rain dance of absurdity.

oh, you're not praying right. you gotta pray in a circle. you gotta pray harder. you gotta pray wisdom from the scriptures.

BULL.

SHIT.

if only such blind idiocy could be harnessed for something good, like, by actually helping people instead of hoping someone else will do it by "thinking" it.

good grief.

Jesus is HA! the answer

(click to enlarge)

fucking hilarious! i wonder if it worked!?!?!

"jesus is the answer", "jesus saves", "what would jesus do"... these are all similar ways of saying the same thing: "we don't have a fuckin' clue what the meaning of life is so to make ourselves feel better about our ignorance, we'll just revert back to myths, legends and fairy tales because after hundreds of years we've managed to make calling us out for our bullshit quite an impolite gesture."

or something like that.

I tebowed

the tebowing phenomenon is splitting my sides with laughter.

every.

day.

i even got in on the action after finishing my recent 50K race:

the funniest aspect of tebowing, to me, is that every time he does it he's saying: HEY, LOOK AT ME EVERYONE. I'M PRAYING TO MY CHRISTIAN GOD AND THAT MAKES ME BETTER THAN YOU.

the gesture is just like those from the guys who do a little touchdown dance, or jump into the stands after they score.

it's called grandstanding.

so to all who feel OFFENDED by the tebowing sensation... y'all can suck it.

More proof we're all fucking doomed

just because something can be done doesn't mean it should be done. i mean, yeah, i could take my pants off in the middle of a busy intersection and try to blow myself, but that doesn't make it a good idea.

yet, here we are, the delusionoid tainted duggar family is having a 20th child.

sure, because they really need to fill that 20th childless void.

jesus fucking christ. this is why we (logical folk) will never come out on top. the stupid keep MULTIPLYING.

IN DROVES.