i miss the comfort in being sad.

never will i forget the day curt cobain died. i was so, bothered. finally, here was a celebrity -- a star, a genius -- someone who got me. someone like me. with similar thoughts, pains, demons.

and boom, like that, he was fucking dead.

i don't think i ever got over that a hundred percent. there are some days when i can't help but wonder what sort of musical brilliance we missed out on because of his selfishness, his inability to fight...

i got demons. i hate myself sometimes. but, more than anything, i refuse to give up. i refuse to lay down.


i will always fucking fight.

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