Now let seth mcfarlane say it...

I'm all over this thing...

democrat (for the most part), environmentalist, abortionist, fornicator, gambler, pervert (not the bad kind though, just your normal pervert), idolater (i have a thing for putting albert pujols up on a pedestal), liberal, high falutin (he spelled it wrong), sophisticated swine and sports nut.

whew.

but, i gotta agree, "emos" and "loud mouth women" are the worst.

HILARABS!

One minute and twenty-four seconds of pure terror

nothing makes my skin crawl more than watching children parade the highfalutin and inexcusable, delusional, ass-backwards claims of their so-called elders.

children don't get a choice. they do as they see, as they're told. they're vulnerable. when it comes to force-feeding religion, i think if you really loved your children you would allow them to make their own spiritual and/or philosophical choices. pumping them up full of vitriolic bullshit then pushing them out the door is not only a disservice to them as floundering youths, but also a HUGE FUCKING HIT ON HUMANITY AS A WHOLE.

WE DON'T FUCKING NEED FAIRY TALES TO EXPLAIN SHIT ANYMORE. SO CUT THAT SHIT OUT.

India has some crazies too

as if the bible-thumpin' delusionoids don't have competition in the loony bin business...

these good folks in india are celebrating a festival called "holi", where hindus spread colored powder on one another. has something to do with krishna.

doesn't matter.

it's all bullshit.

and the sad part here is people are dying from the... yeah, you guessed it: colored powder.

that shit is full of poison and they just rub it all over each other, for their religion.

Things that should scare the shit out of you

Never stop asking, never stop learning

part of what makes the human race the superior race is our ability to think, critically. to ask questions. to sift through bullshit. to keep asking WHY, WHY, WHY.

and that is WHY the mental stagnation of those who "believe" in christian/hindu/islamic/jewish/buddhist/whatevs thoughts absolutely baffle me. if those same people had been in charge of disease prevention instead of people like louis pasteur, we'd all be fucked up, STILL.

with questions comes knowledge; with knowledge comes responsibility.

the religious fucksacks intent on destroying the progression of human thought are succeeding. we're being sucked backwards in time as society considers it polite to let them have a free pass, to never question their outlandish worldviews...

if only other discourses suffered similar retrogression, perhaps they would see the IDIOCY of their ways and just...

fucking...

STOP.

You can't ctrl-s

one thing that gets me scratching my head a lot is the question WHY do religious folks feel the need to control everyone around them.

you MUST take jesus christ as your lord and savior.

you MUST stop and pray five times a day towards the direction of mecca.

you MUST give invisible sky daddy 10% of your fucking income.

as a human being there is only ONE person i can control. one. and that's me. myself. i can control me. you can control you. he can control himself.

that's it.

and we're not talking about policing ourselves, we're talking about beliefs. so don't give me that bullshit argument please.

stay out of my fucking business, stay out of my fucking bedroom, stay out of my fucking checkbook.

forever.

(image via 9GAG)

The inexcusability of mormonism

look. i get it. sorta. i mean, christianity has been around for a couple thousand years. islam and buddhism too. hinduism. judaism, even longer. i know that cleaning the brain of these ages old traditions is gonna be tough, that it will take time, that falling prey to their teachings is pretty plausible considering how dumb most of the world is.

but mormonism? the church of ladder day saints? joseph fucking smith?

inexcusable.

they are just as nuts as the crazy-ass charles mansons of the world.

an angel gave a book to joseph smith? in an unknown language? a language that only he could understand?

please. that shit ain't even good enough to be on a soap opera, man.

no excuse, mormons. you have no excuse.

The power of suggestion

people are stupid.

really. especially in groups. that's when people get really stupid.

think about it. all the major cuckoo clans that you hear about... the heaven's gate group, the taiping rebellion, branch davidians... most of us (religious or not) would admit that all three of those groups were fucking bat-shit nuts... that each group's members were sucked in by having weak minds and being susceptible to suggestion.

well, the major religions of the world are no different. the craziness has just been around longer, and most of those involved have never been allowed to think for themselves. ever. those who joined later on in their adult lives, well, they probably never realized they even had a choice (when they had it!), or were simply just susceptible to the power of suggestion of a bunch of looney-tunes who look and act like they really know what's going on.

even though they're clueless.

yep. it's the biggest fucking lie ever told in the history of the recorded universe.

and like they say, ya can't fix stupid.

Children are easy prey!

i know i've mentioned this before -- beat it into the ground perhaps -- but i don't fucking care 'cuz it's important.

fuck world hunger. fuck nuclear war. fuck all that. the minds of children are being hijacked every single day by crazy nutballs and no one flinches or says a thing.

leave a baby around a pack of dogs, and of course, eventually it will start acting like a dog.

leave a baby under the influence of close-minded, fairy-tale believin', religion-lovin' lunatics and you have reinforcements for the crazy-train army.

and that scares the shit out of me.

How to deify your child's toy

step 1: buy child's toy

step 2: buy more of said child's toy and rip the arms of them

step 3: stick ripped arms on to just one child's toy

and voila!

BABY DOLL GOD!!!!

is this the same way they came up with visnu and avalokitesvara and those guys?

(image via ihmp)

Poor, poor zeus

sometimes i get to thinkin'... thinkin' about zeus.

feelin' sorry for him.

sorry he's been forgotten.

sorry zeus.

so

so

so-

rry

Just a baby-religio-fallacy metaphor

these babies are... babies. they have little control over... well, anything.

they were put in those buckets. they did not put themselves in those buckets.

yet the buckets they are in (determined by someone else) will dictate how they live the rest of their lives. and that fucking sucks.

'cuz one of those buckets is christianity, one is hinduism, one is islam, one buddhism, one judaism...

all slaves.

(image via the friendly atheist)

This cannot be said enough...

please, let the madness stop.

let kids think for themselves.

they're not as fucking stupid as you think they are.

(via smbc)

Fuck yeah superstition!

gee, somehow i haven't mentioned the craziness of the hindu religion for a while... so let's examine the worship of durga -- a bad ass bitch with ten arms who will fuck you up if you don't follow her lead.

the following quote comes from the new book by world renown indian art expert pratapaditya pal, which is all about the "sacred" imagery of durga:

"during the '40s of the last century durga was worshiped every autumn in our home in calcutta (now kolkata), in a polished brass waterpot. on shashthi, the sixth day of the lunar fortnight in the month of ashwin (september-october), the family priest would ceremoniously consecrate the pot by filling it with water from the holy river ganga (known as the hooghly as it flows past the city to the bay of bengal), inserting a twig with mango leaves (snapped from the tree behind our house) into the neck, then place a green coconut, which was covered with a thin, gauzy towel of the native kind, on its aperture. on the front of the pot he would paint an abstract stick figure with vermilion and so the terrestrial form was ready for the goddess to be invoked. then with offerings of food and flowers, appropriate rituals and mantras, she would be worshiped for four days until the tenth (dashami or dassera), and the family would gather around the priest for the final blessings known as shanti or peace."

uh... WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

so what happens if i accidentally use papaya leaves instead of mango leaves? what if i don't quite make it a fortnight? what if the coconut isn't quite green?

the human mind is certainly full of imagination... and its ability to apply meaning to the completely meaningless, arbitrary and random is fucking astounding.

i'm so glad i'm not a part of the delusional camp.

so fucking glad.