Tuning out the tunes

part of my running regimen has been taking one run a week and going without any music, no watch, no plan. just... walk out the door and...

run.

just fucking run.

the feeling i get from that is reminiscent of being a kid, when i didn't have a care in the world other than right now, present... time and space. takes me back to my primal roots. and it fucking feels fantastic.

but i never even considered doing that regularly. i thought once a week was enough... just to keep me grounded. any more than that and i just assumed i'd burn out.

then a couple of weeks ago i dropped (and broke) my zune. i had to send it off to get fixed, which left me mp3-less for a week and i... got scared.

sure i'd gone once a week without tunes, but every day? what if i got bored? what if i lost that feeling?

i never got bored. i never lost that feeling. in fact, i woke up! tuned in! felt and experienced the world around me! as it was happening!

- - -

yesterday i ran a race with 30,000 other people. THIRTY THOUSAND PEOPLE. it was an awesome sight, all of us packed together, a natural experience vaguely akin to pack running on the hunt... except about half the people had earbuds jammed in their heads.

and they totally missed out on the raw ecstasy of communitas, rambling through the city streets, doing what it is we've been doing for hundreds of thousands of years...

running.

just fucking running.

Is it so fucking hard to be aware of one's self?

the modern human is a lazy sack of shit.

i mean, that's a pretty broad statement... but it's essentially true.

people have lost touch with their bodies, with their surroundings, with the idea of a collective good for the species.

this ain't no "i'm smarter and better than you" moment, but i understand how people might see it that way.

fuck them. i don't care.

'cuz if people just tuned into what's actually going on around them, life (for all) could be much simpler, much happier, much better. from blabbin' jesus to cuttin' me off in traffic to spittin' into the wind (i'm behind you, thanks, motherfucker) and knocking me over with your oversized fucking backpack...

...all one needs to do is OPEN his eyes.

OPEN her ears.

TAKE a fucking look around and move in space as that space allows.

oh... and smile. every once in a while... just fucking smile.

:-)

Yep, this totally makes me horny

it must be the turtles. i swear.

remember this previous favorite of mine?

this is a trend that i could really never get tired of. ever. and if this could happen for me i'd... i'd do something crazy... like... like consider going to church. once.

but just once.

Incredible!

this pic is just one hot chick away from making me blow my load.

all over the place.

not kidding.

Bold face liar

i was talking to this woman and midway through the conversation she told me her mother had recently lost 200 pounds. shocked, i replied: "wow. that's great. how did she do it?"

"well, she really just prayed about it."

"uh... okay. but what did she do? diet? exercise? surgery? what?"

"she didn't do any of that. she just prayed about it."

"she just... prayed about it. prayed about it?"

"yeah. god's work is amazing."

(uh-MAY-zing. this fucking bitch. what, is she fucking nuts?)

"you mean to tell me she just prayed about it and she lost the weight? like magic? 200 pounds gone?"

"yes."

"you're a liar."

"no. why would i lie about god's work?"

"you're a fucking liar. a delusional fucking cracked out liar." (i'm chuckling in disbelief as i say this)

"did you see the wire?" she quickly changed the subject.

...

they are real. they are crazy. they are fucking everywhere.

and they will destroy this planet some day.

Dumb, dumb, dumb

at the risk of sounding like my father, let me just say that i simply don't get kids these days.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!

if i had one bit of advice i could give a young, impressionable teen boy it'd be this: don't date christians.

but if i could add in my other two cents i'd also say:

never turn down the chance to fuck (because you never know when it might be your last) ...

..and...

really, i'm serious. don't date christians.

What i learned as a priest

so i went as a priest for halloween. here's what i learned:

• people are more apt to talk to you
• when you walk around you feel a sort of power over everyone else, that you can do things or get things easier than someone who isn't a wearing that silly collar
• everyone assumes you have some strange sexual fetish
• no one questions the insanity for which you stand

Ok, this one time i'm cool with this cat...

... it has style. and i like that.

You can laugh. it's funny.

katy fucking perry. what was she thinking?

judge for yourself: :-)

Writing with a chinese accent

i so habbing a ritter trub-oh try talking wiss my own chiner assent. you what is my meaning?

but so many timing i not rike was happen. so den i tearing myserf is okay no probrem.

and den is rike i cannot having trub-oh stay talking you in engrish so is okay but  no one can knowing diss one.

i can tearing dem is forever twenty one.