A picture of a painter...

...painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter painting a picture of a painter...

Beware the technology loop

i rely WAY too much on technology. i get sucked in by it VERY easily and i have a hard time putting the smart phones, the ipods, the laptops, the garmins, etc down or away for any extended period of time.

i need to change that.

when i run, i run sans phone/ipod and sometimes i run without my garmin, but that time only accounts for a small percentage of my day.

i'm going to try and get away from all the gadgets a little more in 2012. at least, i hope i can.

btw, portlandia is a fucking ridiculously hilarious and exciting new show on IFC.

Nature first

surely we all know that nature ought to trump the t.v., but i'm guessing most people don't really adhere to such a philosophy. it's hard. especially in today's blazing fast singularity bound culture.

i was 30 years old before i realized mother nature has far more to offer me in regards to peace and joy and health and fulfillment than any technology.

like anything in life, moderation is paramount. i'm sure that's what this child had in mind when scribing the above note.

(image via ihmp)

Questions i also had often as a youth for $300, alex

Beavis and butthead: hear me out

i know, i know, how juvenile of you, zelig... how middleschool... how lame...

EXCEPT YOU'D BE WRONG ABOUT ALL THAT.

i was skeptical too when my buddy told me beavis and butthead were back and that they were even better than he remembered them from our junior high days.

before the pacquiao/marquez fight a few days ago, we sat down and watched a couple hours of the revamped episodes on mtv and i couldn't stop from laughing all that time. they're fucking stupid, but they're so fucking funny in that stupidity.

that's what they're about: they say shit that we all think but don't allow ourselves to say.

and i ain't ashamed of liking that sort of self-reflecting humor.

huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-beavis-huh-huh-you're-stupid...

YEAH! STUPID! YEAH!

What i do when giada delaurentis is on television

(click to enlarge)

in fact, i'd argue that giada has the greatest set of knockers SEEN on television. EVER.



(you'll definitely wanna click to enlarge this one)

"The Wire"

two winters ago, i watched all five seasons of the wire. in one month. and that was after making an active choice to spread the episodes out as much as possible.

but i couldn't. it was just too good.

and for someone who had a leg in that world for a time, let me tell ya, it's the most brutally realistic telling of how shit really gets. if you haven't seen it, i highly recommend it.

just... consider yourself warned, if you're anything like me, television will forever disappoint you from there on out.

lucky for me, i got a whole baseball season to keep me entertained. i suggest you have a similar distraction lined up.

HOLLA!

Naughty sluts getting busted

while hang my kittyhole and race night both got my attention, at the end of the day there's really nothing quite like naughty sluts getting busted.

bust on, my friends.

bust on.

Funny ad nauseum

there are some things that will just always be funny. no matter what. they just are.

forever.

for my dad, it's farting. that will always make him laugh. ALWAYS. he will be on his death bed, with all of us kids around, and he'll scoot one and laugh himself to death. i just know it.

but for me it's 'that's what she said'. i have been busting myself up with this one since i discovered the easy trick of innuendo from shakespeare in middle school, and when the office's michael scott brought the phrase back to life it sorta ruined my thunder... but i ain't sweatin' it.

'cuz when i bring it hard it brings me so much joy.

(that's what she said!)

Another reason why sue sylvester is the funniest fictional character since michael scott

managed to catch this screengrab during an early episode in season two.

i must thank my ole pal, A, for gettin' me on the glee train.

there. i fucking said it. i like glee.

so what.

Cosby's cosby

when i was a kid, the cosby show was the shit. sure, saturday mornings were all about saved by the bell and nba inside stuff, but if we're talkin' weeknight television, the cosby show couldn't be beat.

i remember going to school and jammin' with my classmates about the hilarity that ensued from dr. huxtable and the gang the night before. phylicia rashad was my ideal mother figure... theo was my ideal self, and cliff... well, we all know that he WAS that show.

fast forward...

i can't remember the last time i sat down and watched a sit-com, week after week after week. do they even make those anymore?

(image via skull swap)

'Cuz the bible tells you so?

i find it very interesting that there are a good number of seemingly intelligent folks out there who do what they do, act like they act, just because the bible tells them to.

THE FUCKING BIBLE.

have you ever read the bible? i have. several times.

yeah, there are some good life lessons among all the bronze age bullshit, but you can get those same life lessons from curious fucking george books or episodes of saved by the bell (treat others as you would like to be treated, don't steal, don't fuck your best friend's wife, etc). i don't need a fucking bible to tell me that shit. it's COMMON FUCKING SENSE.

one of the reasons our species rose to the top was our ability to ask questions and figure shit out for ourselves. for those who blindly believe whatever their sunday school teacher taught them, just because, well, that's embarrassing -- a slap in the face to our caveman brethren who hammered a lot of phalanges with rocks to get us movin' on our intellectual way.

it couldn't be more clear: when you break down the bible and all the conflicting, fantasy-driven nonsense, it presents a worldview similar to that of the star wars saga. it's proverbial, it's dramatic, it's entertaining... and it's mostly make-believe.

Ode to an old crush

my sisters and i used to watch saved by the bell -- RELIGIOUSLY. we saw every episode so many times that we'd recite the lines as zack, kelly, screech and the crew recited them themselves.

little did my sisters know that i was just using it as an excuse to stockpile masturbation images, to be used later...

hubba hubba.

;-)

Just one reason why arrested development is the best fucking show ever