Not sure what this all means...

...but let me explain that i have an internet persona, a life away from life, this enriched version of myself that interacts on the baseball blogs and twitters and fb's and all that shit.

'cuz yeah, i'm into all of it.

anyway, so i feel like i know a bunch of people, like i know them. but i've never met them. and i imagine they're all enriched versions of themselves too... and instead of being the coolest kids on the block, in reality, we are the biggest fucking dorks that ever lived.

i'm 31 years old.

i can handle that.

anyway, so in the internet worlds, i'd say the one person i'd want to meet and hang out with the most is rachel the pujolsmolinafan.

her tumbler is right *THURRRR!*

Sicko sicko sicko

here's a cross posted pic from rsbs...

yes, i created it.

yes, i know it's awesome.

yes, i realize that it is creepy as shit.

:-)

I'd like to thank jesus...

this is part of a piece originally posted at rsbs... it has some crossover appeal... so enjoy!

- - -

The following are all FACTS that our loyal interns have researched thoroughly.  If you do not regard them as FACTS then that is your problem and not ours because they've been teaching this stuff for a couple thousand years and I don't know about you, but anything that has been taught for a couple thousand years MUST be FACT...

Jesus Only Likes Certain Baseball Players
You will know which players he likes by the individual player's performance.  Jesus will help guys get homeruns but for those whom he detests (Mark Reynolds comes to mind) he will cause problems by making him strikeout with runners in scoring position.  If this is too confusing, then think of it this way: Jesus loves Josh Hamilton, hates Aramis Ramirez.  Loves Albert Pujols, hates Raul Ibanez.  Loves Stephen Strasburg, hates Kenshin Kawakami.

Jesus May Be Johnny Damon
The bloodwork still needs to be finalized -- the midichlorians counted over again -- but we're pretty sure that Johnny Damon still holds the key as the physically reformed Jesus on earth.  He helped the Red Sox win the 2004 World Series; if that isn't proof that Jesus is really the son of god and stuff then I don't know what else to say to convince you.  If you don't believe, then you probably don't believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny either... both unforgivable offenses.

The Face on this Baseball Belongs to Jesus
Don't believe me?  Well, then prove that it's NOT Jesus' face!  Yeah, hahahaha, sucker!!! I knew you couldn't do it.  Now what?  That's Jesus' face, dude.  For serious...

Jesus Loves to Surprise His Devotees
One day after softball practice, I walk to my car, open up the backseat and BAM!  Jesus bats!

Now if Jesus wasn't real, if god didn't want to show me miracles in my life, then how in the hell would these Jesus bats end up in my car all of the sudden?  Huh?!?  Well???  Exactly.  Jesus put them there... 'cuz Jesus loves me... and...

Jesus Hates the Cubs


Some things just never get old...

Jesus hates the cubs

this is a video my buddy and i (his name is Theo) made for my hit baseball-politico blog... ya know, the one where i can't write this crazy ass shit... you can also read it *here*



anyway, though the beat was ripped off the interwebs somewhere, the lyrics and performances are all original.

my friend (his name is James) plays jesus.

oh no. wait. i mean, no... that's the real jesus.

jesus rocks in this vid.

jesus fucking rocks!