Aw fuck

this could be a movie. i'm sure bruckheimer is looking for a new project.

git 'er done!

Um... gonna hafta try harder than that

on it's own, this cartoon would probably warrant a slight chuckle; however, i received it from a full-fledged delusionoid family member who is "extremely worried" about my "godless soul".

it seems she is offering this to me as a possible explanation for something she cannot explain otherwise.

sorry.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

What happens when kids start askin' questions...

(click to enlarge)

(via smbc)

Noah's ark theme park? get fuckin' real, man

some religious delusionoids are building a noah's ark theme park.

okay. i get it. it's just a theme park. i shouldn't be bothered by it. i'm being a bit of a boob for harping on it.

but it really fucking bugs me.

not because they're building a theme park based on the story of noah's ark.

it bothers me that these fuckers believe that shit is real, that a bazillion species got on a fucking boat and ran around the world while the earth filled up entirely of water for forty days and forty nights.

and now, with their big water park, they can convince even more persuadable folks to follow down their mutual path of FUCKTARDEDNESS.

it's fucking stupid.

Do we even really know noah?

so, in the bible... particularly in genesis... we get to know this fella named noah.

you know noah. he built a boat and put one pair of every fucking living thing on the face of the planet (uh... yeah, right) on this boat. crammed at least two of every fucking living creature on the ENTIRE GLOBE in this dinky boat.

and that's not even the craziest shit.

because noah also sired three kids. when he was 500 years old (gen 5:32). three kids. in one year. his wife? for all we know he had just one... but she's never named in the bible.

AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE BE? SHE'S A FUCKING WOMAN? THEY ONLY GAINED THE RIGHT TO FUCKING VOTE IN THIS COUNTRY 90 FUCKING YEARS AGO (even though woodrow wilson* vehemently opposed it)!!!!!!!!!!

the bible is a fucking shitpile of rubbish. every time i see one my faith in the human mind's ability to progress takes a hit. how many more hits must it take?

FUCK!

*tangent: i once dated a girl who had a huge crush on woodrow wilson. yeah. woodrow wilson. when i went to the smithsonian, she made me take pictures of all the woodrow wilson shit. woodrow fucking wilson made her horny. gee, i wonder why that relationship didn't work out...