More child abuse

i just returned from a nice multi-day new york getaway, and my brain is a bit fried. i will get back to thought provoking randomness shortly. in the meantime, please try not to break anything after watching this child abuse video.

y'know, they do this same thing in north korea, only instead of jeebus, they sing about kim jong il.

Finally took a penny

was at the convenience store and bought a banana. indian dude says, "dat will be one dollar one cent, please."

i have a $20 and a $1. that's it. so i panicked... THEN i saw the penny dish there... ya know, the one you put your unwanted pennies in.

i took one. handed it and the $1 bill to the man and walked out.

and as i walked down the cold, broad street, i realized: that was the first time in my entire fucking life that i've taken a penny out of the dish. first time. ever.

i'd put countless pennies in and never taken one out.

now i'm takin' them motherfuckers out every chance i get.

Asians make the craziest christians

they also make the craziest drivers.

and lovers.

and martial artists.

okay, now i'm just stereotyping.

but seriously, i'd put any fucking nutso chinese or korean or japanese christian up against the most hardcore evangelical rapture lovin' delusionoid...

any.

day.

while living in beijing, i was once trapped in a public park and swarmed by a group of undercover self-mutilating christ-fiends whose only harness against shouting their imaginations in full voices to the skies was the fact that "a highly militarized faction of government spies" was constantly watching their every move.

i took on a thick afghan accent and told them (with wily eyes) that i was a muslim.

naturally, they left me alone.

'cuz ain't nothin' crazier than a wily eyed muslim dude on the cusp of bedding 72 virgins.