Kaskade -- "start again"

kaskade is one of my favorite DJs, and with the excitement of a new album coming out in november, i thought it appropriate to share one of the songs that gets me up when i'm down.

it's about new beginnings. it's about opening one's eyes. it's about hope and it's about just letting go and feeling fucking good because we deserve to feel good.

we CAN feel good.

so let's do this.

I won't treat you like a potato if you don't take away my beer

that way we can both be happy.

capice?

A fine musical discovery

one would think that after 30 some years a person wouldn't have too many surprises left regarding his musical tastes. but, that's just wrong because i found out i actually enjoy most country music just a few years ago.

and, recently, i discovered that i am a huge fan of the drum and bass subgenre of electronica. i don't know if this immersion song counts as DnB, but it was DnB that lead me to the album that this is on, and after one listen i knew it was a good muthafuckin thang.

A stumper for your delusional friends...

...assuming you have delusional (read: religious) friends (c'mon, we ALL do), ask them "who would jesus vote for?"

the SKY GOD! liberty guru did just that.

hilarious.

and valid.

i can't wait to see how they answer 'cuz i'm always up for a good joke!!!

An hour+ of funky DnB (or, "i need an excuse to get up and dance like a fuckin' mad man")

happy friday yo!

What would jeebus do -- twin towers edition

(via b3ta)

The selfish jeebus

whew. jeebus on the brain this week. oh well. shit happens.

jeebus has me down today because, well, long story short: his followers can be real selfish creeps sometimes!!!

one of my sisters got a tatt on her wrist that says "believe" in honor of our late grandmother who always reminded us to believe in ourselves. my sister posted a pic of the tatt on facebook, and a bunch of folks commented, yadda yadda yadda. but the comment that irked the shit out of me was from one of our aunts -- the grand master delusionoid of our family's religious faction -- as she wrote, "i like the 'believe' part but only believe in jesus".

what the fuck?!?

instead of letting my sister have her moment with her dead grandma online, aunt delusionoid has to come in like a wrecking ball for jeebus and put in her xtrian edged vitriolic bite.

she does this to me too. all the time in fact. and i'm fucking tired of it.

i'm tired of crazy trains thinking it's okay to tell others how they should fucking live their lives and not be called out for their lunacy.

black sheeped as i may be, i won't fucking standing for it.

Get ready for the cold by saying "FUCK YOU, COLD"

it's pretty dark when i lace up for my morning runs now. not only that, but that crisp, cool left jab of a chill is in the air too. that can only mean one thing: winter time is a comin'.

here in chicago, we have two seasons: hot as fuck and cold as fuck. our transitional period is usually filled with rain, wind and whatever else people don't like. but there's one thing to remember for those of us who live here: WE FUCKING KNOW IT'S COMING.

now, one can either get pissed off at that, or one can just embrace it and get off on being tough in the face of whatever mother nature throws at us. it took me about 4 years of moping and complaining and using the harsh winters as an excuse for being miserable before i realized that I AM THE MASTER OF ME.

all it takes is the right attitude, and we humans can pretty much psyche ourselves through anything. and that's exactly what i do.

i spit in the face of chicago's worst weather. FUCK YOU, COLD. FUCK YOU, RAIN. FUCK YOU, 40 MPH WIND.

you can't get to me, 'cuz i won't fucking let you.

What would jeebus do -- israel edition

(via b3ta)

What would jeebus do -- marketing edition

(via b3ta)

What would jeebus do -- mel gibson edition

(via b3ta)

What would jeebus do

my favorite fucking brits recently had an image challenge entitled "what would jesus do", which required participants to submit images of jeebus doing things as he would today, facing contemporary problems and scenarios. i'm going to share some of my favorites this week, with minimal commentary. they are just too funny.

before i let 'er rip though, let's really think about the inherent problems of christianity's slogan "what would jesus do".

if we are to actually do what jesus would do, assuming we know what he would do, based on the hypocrisies of the historically troubled and fact-bending bible, then essentially we are losing that free will that god (or jeebus or the holy ghost or whatever make-believe of the day) has "gifted" us with. if it's just about doing what god/jeebus/holy ghost would have us do then why give humans free will in the first place? and if god knows everything and is perfect and all that shit then why the fuck was he so stupid to introduce pain and suffering and hate and murder into a world that was supposedly perfect prior? to teach us a lesson? if he knew what stupidity would come at the hands of human thought and free will, then why did he not foresee this troubling paradox and just nip it in the fucking bud when he could?

answer: because it's all made up shizz from old fucks who thought the world was flat and that monsters lived in the ocean.

moving on... this:

(image via b3ta)

WARNING: Puke inducer

this is some heavy duty prayin' to end abortion. the second gal featured here pleads: "we ask that you would send a revival, god, and that you would have mercy on our souls, god, for the shedding of innocent souls, god" yadda yadda yadda.

why do they care so much about saving the unborn while the BORN innocents are subjected to the lies and hate and inherent intolerance of their "gospel"?

don't believe me? pick up a sunday school textbook sometime and see what kind of segregation from reality they teach their youth.

that's some stomach churning shit.

To fan or not to fan?

i have found that there are two types of people in the world: those who sleep with a fan on no matter what the temperature and those who do not.

those of us who do sleep with a fan, we get others who sleep with a fan. it's just one of those things that's difficult to explain. i think i do it 'cuz i need the white noise, but i also like cool air blowing on me (i get hot easily) and i'm sure i could think of other strange reasons, but to try and explain them to someone who does not sleep with a fan, well, it never seems to get across.

Free running, parkour badassery

for me, one of the great perks of life is discovering cool shit i never knew existed.

the other night i was interweb surfin' and i stumbled across something called free running, which is a variation of something called parkour -- both concepts that my mind had never even thought or heard of.

fucking fascinating shit. watch for yourself:

here i've been living 32 years and never heard of this.

it's probably a good thing i'm just now learning about it, otherwise i might have been inclined to try it out at some point.

i know better now.

i think.

Wha? no banana man?

everybody's favorite delusionoid, kirk cameron, had a big birthday party recently. looks like jeebus really loves kirk 'cuz he treated him to... mmmmm... subway.

but no banana man invite? sad.

also, subway is fucking disgusting.

(via finding joy)

A public service announcement from a fucking crazy train

it's people like this fella here and the slandering backwards philosophy he teaches that are setting back the world.

it's delusionoids like him who make it impossible for us to reach our furthest potential as a species.

sometimes i feel like there really isn't much hope -- that the immensity of immaturity of the majority "faithful" (whether judeo-christian, muslim, etc) is too strong a weapon for reason to overcome.

i feel that way because people like this dude exist everywhere and it is considered impolite to point out the unquestionable lunacy of his worldview, even though every single person with his wits about him can clearly see he is delusional.

*sigh*

Switchin' it up and slowin' down

i run a lot. it's my thang. that is no secret.

but when i run i'm usually in my head. yes, the surrounding environment is there, but my mind isn't focused on it.

the other day i decided to rest my legs and do something different: i went on a walk.

i walked up and down the streets in my neighborhood -- a chi town neighborhood i've lived in for nearly 5 years now -- and for the first time, i SAW my neighborhood.

that may sound weird, but i encourage you to try it. slow down. look at everything. pay attention to the little things. ask questions. be curious.

when i got home -- TWO HOURS LATER!!! -- i was giddy from all of the cool shit i learned lurked just beyond my door.

And brutalized he should be

rick perry's wife, anita, is crying foul because she thinks the media is "brutalizing" her husband "because of his faith."

to this i say, uh.... yah. no shit. they SHOULD be calling him out on his faith because HIS FAITH is a major concern for those of us who actually have the ability to think rationally, for ourselves.

gone are the days when we should be expected to be polite in the face of mythical delusions. fuck no.

STOP THE PANDERING. STOP THE INSANITY.

Where does he get such wonderful toys?!?!

if it were possible to live somebody else's life, i'm pretty sure i'd line up to take dali's.

that's one fascinating motherfucker right there.

bam.

Maybe i'm not doin' it right

i haven't tried this line.

first time for everything.

now, if i could just... care.

but...

ALAS!

i don't.

Badass fix

Scare yourself

if you're like me, nothin' gets your blood pumpin' much like a good, old fashioned horror movie.

unfortunately, horror movies pretty much suck nowadays. or, maybe it was just that i was naive enough to be duped into those "horror" worlds when i was younger and now, as a realist, i see through the hollyweirdness of it all. for what it's worth, i think the last "scary" movie that actually got my heart rate up was the japanese version of "the ring" and even that was a stretch.

enter the interwebs.

if you REALLY wanna scare the shit out of yourself, follow this plan:

turn off all the lights. throw in a dark soundtrack (i personally suggest hans zimmer's the dark knight; start at the very beginning and let it play through). then read, from start to finish, ted bundy's wikipedia page.

i guarantee you you will jump at least once.

Jesus and health care

but... wait... if jeebus is actually the son of god, and god created everything, couldn't god also stop the money-hungry suited thieves from raping me every month for so called "health care"? 'cuz when i do get sick or need work done, i still have to take out a fucking loan just to pay my end. why? because of the money-hungry suited thieves above the money-hungry suited thieves, etc.

why doesn't god/jeebus/holy ghost do somethin' about these injustices?

wait, nevermind. logic just reared its reasonable head.

I'm definitely itchin' to try this shizz!!!

i love practical jokes... and this one, well, just watch.

My apartment could use some redecorating

now, if i could just fine these fabulous pieces...

Carl sagan's words: as important now as they were then

i finished reading carl sagan's the dragons of eden several weeks ago, but i've been consistently haunted by the hard-hitting foreshadowy warning he scribed in the very last pages.

he wrote (in 1977 mind you):

"There is today in the West (but not in the East) a resurgent interest in vague, anecdotal and often demonstrably erroneous doctrines that, if true, would betoken at least a more interesting universe, but that, if false, imply an intellectual carelessness, an absence of toughmindedness, and a diversion of energies not very promising for our survival.  Such doctrines include astrology (the view that which stars, one hundred trillion miles away, are rising at the moment of my birth in a closed building affect my destiny profoundly); the Bermuda Triangle "mystery" (which holds in many versions that an unidentified flying object lives in the ocean off Bermuda and eats ships and airplanes); flying saucer accounts in general; the belief in ancient astronauts; the photography of ghosts; pyramidology (including the view that my razor blade stays sharper within a cardboard pyramid than within a cardboard cube); Scientology; auras and Kirlian photography; the emotional lives and musical preferences of geraniums; psychic surgery; flat and hollow earths; modern prophecy; remote cutlery warping; astral projections; Velikovskian catastrophism; Atlantis and Mu; spiritualism; and the doctrine of the special creation, by God or gods, of mankind despite our deep relatedness, both in biochemistry and in brain physiology, with the other animals.  It may be that there are kernels of truth in a few of these doctrines, but their widespread acceptance betokens a lack of intellectual rigor, an absence of skepticism, a need to replace experiments by desires."

and now i ask you this: HAS ANYTHING CHANGED???????

Victory, sweet victory

my top 4% finish at the chicago marathon sunday was as exhilarating as it was mind-blowing. running at the front of a pack of 45,000 people was something i had never done before and being treated to the neverending cheers from 1.7 million spectators gave me the energy to fly without much perceived effort... until about the 23 mile mark, where i conveniently asked myself: "whose legs are these?!?!"

nevertheless, i kept pushing. hard. then harder. then HARDER. until i crossed the line with a dizzy disposition.

it was a little too warm for my liking, so my time wasn't as good as i thought my legs were capable, but finishing at 3 hours 20 minutes and 49 seconds was good enough for a top 4% finish and a to-date personal best time at the distance.

next up: two 50K trail races (one in texas and one in indiana in november and december respectively), then on to houston in january for another sub 3:15 marathon attempt.

as one of my best buddies would say: HOT MUTHAFUCKIN DOG!!!

Lolzy lolz lolz

This woman could have the head of a rabid wildebeast...

... and i'd still make her my wife.

probably.

maybe.

let me think about it.

(image via hcibs)

also, i'm pretty sure i've posted this pic before. oh well.

Inquiring minds wanna know

the world is full of shit that can get ya down (politics, religion, the kardashians)... but sometimes  we have to just be happy with what we have.

and today you can be happy that **THIS** exists.

ENJOY THE LAUGH ON ME YO!

!!!

That ain't no "candy dispenser"

growing up with six sisters, i certainly visited my share of women's restrooms. for those of you fellas not in the know, they are (generally speaking): MUCH cleaner; EXPANSIVE; FULL of furniture, including couches, daybeds and chairs; and YES, they have these... things... that LOOK like candy dispensers.

but they ain't.

just sayin'.

(p.s. our graffiti art, men, is far superior)

What i'm doing

if you're reading this between the hours of 7:30 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. chicago time, well, this is what i'm doing. i'm running like a madman through the streets of my beloved city. in fact, miles 20 through 24 take you right through my neighborhood.

this is either going to be the greatest running achievement of my life thus far or a colossal failure... either way, i'll tell ya all about it and not get too hung up if things don't work out the way i want them to.

HOLLLA!

DISCLAIMER: this is NOT a slam on steve jobs

steve jobs was an exceptional visionary -- a man who stood on the grounds of indvidualistic thought and eschewed the dreary caverns of blind-faith delusional dogma.

that being said, this little promo for what the 4s siri can do is a little over the top for my liking.

to me, it says that we are perfectly okay with being lazy bastards.

"Let go"

now here's a mantra i often find myself mumbling.

let go...

just let go. all that shit that you're holding inside that's stressing you out? let go. all those fears? all those insecurities? let go. the girl who got away, the future you were promised but didn't get, the persistent pangs for those whom you've lost?

LET GO.

No me gusta no me gusta no me gusta

Would you let a looney tune cut ya?

quick question: would you be comfortable with a surgeon operating on you who is also an outspoken christian delusionoid? would you be cool with knowing that the person responsible for cutting you open and putting you back together again really believes that there's an invisible man in the sky who hears his thoughts!?!??

personally, i wouldn't.

how could i be comfortable with someone so lazy that he couldn't check his sources cutting me up on an operating table?!?!?!

madness. just plain madness.

it takes years and years and years of study and practice and inquisitive behavior to become a licensed medical doctor. surely, at its lowest level, it requires a good chunk of intelligence.

yet somehow this intelligence easily falls to the outlandishness of "faith" when confronted by the cancers of religion. it's really, really, really fucking hard to un-brainwash someone.

Ready for "epic"

running means a lot to me. it's my drug, my escape, my happy place. without it holding me up the last couple of years, i'm not sure where i'd be.

and it's a strange sport, this running. i mean, what other sport has its elite athletes toe up on the same start line as amateur joes, weekend warriors and the virginally crowned couch-to-5Kers?

this weekend i will put the exclamation mark on what has been the absolute best 16 weeks of training i've ever gutted through by running the coveted chicago marathon. i'm stoked as hell as this will be the my first marathon since my st. louis letdown back in april, where i ended up injuring myself and shelved for six weeks.

this time i trained smarter. i didn't marry a chart, rather, i listened to my body and pushed it when i could, eased back when i had to, and most of all, i tried to remember that THIS SHIT IS FUN!!!!

and realize as i may that no one really gives a fuck how fast or how slow i run a marathon, the competitor within me is dead set on running sunday's race as fast as i can with all of the effort i can muster, no holding back. that's what running is about to me: seeing how far i can go, seeing what i -- as a mortal human fucking being -- can really push myself to do.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!

my pops is coming to run it too. and so is one of my brothers-in-law. i hate to steal one of those kid-cliched interweb memes to describe the potential, but i cannot resist saying it's gonna be EPIC.

Been there, done that

in fact, the only true sign that my last successful relationship was going to fail was this exact scenario just a few days before the wheels fell off.

but, being a dude, i was completely clueless.

good thing i like the internets!

Things that keep me up at night for $200, alex

Elzzup siht tuo erugif uoy nac?

Grocery shopping!!!

okay. that's it. i have to get one of these costumes. i'm tired of watching everybody else have all the fun.

Does god have a flan?

in the imaginations where "god" exists, i'm sure he's quite capable of having a flan. (flan is delicious, by the way. it is my go-to guilty pleasure.)

which reminds me, isn't it convenient that when things work out, delusional folks are quick to note that "god provides" and he often does so "according to his plan"?

so when TEAM A gets its brains bashed in by TEAM B, we can say that it was "part of god's plan" that one team get its ass kicked so brutally. this is, in essence, to say "god" favors one team over another.

just like he favors one people (western based judeo-christians) over another (muslims). right? i mean, that's what the delusionoids are sayin'.

and why does "god's plan" involve so much awful shit? children being molested, women being raped, hardworking folk losing their jobs, natural disasters destroying people's homes... why doesn't god provide in these times of need?

i think we all know the answer. it's just that some of us are okay with it, and some us are... well, DELUSIONAL.

Words, words, words, FUCK YEAH!

for all you loggerheaded crook-pated nut-hooks out there, remember to look at the fawning fly-bitten miscreant next to you and call him a spleeny pottle-deep hugger-mugger!!!!

HOLLA!!!